It’s like history is rewriting itself right in front of my very eyes.
As usual, the one person who’s treating me like me is Conor.
I’ve gotten good at remembering to plaster on a fake smile as I walk through the halls. The only time I let my guard down is during class, while the teachers drone on and on about some subject or another and my mind drifts. To May. Always to May.
I can’t help but wonder how she’s doing—this whole mess can’t be easy. From what I hear, she’s been put on leave from school indefinitely because of the stunt that she pulled. That’s what people are calling it: a stunt, like she decided to give that speech for attention or some bullshit. The thing I’ve learned most of all this week is how little people care about the truth.
I’ve locked eyes with Lucy and Chim in the halls a few times, but I can’t quite bring myself to stop them, to say hi. Every time, I look away first.
I’m dragging myself through the days.
* * *
—
Conor has a show tonight and he’s trying to convince me to come, but he’s crazy if he thinks that will happen. We’re riding home in my car together—me, him, Gwen. Gwen’s in the back typing away on her phone. Conor’s going on and on about his show, but I can barely hang on to any of his words. The occasional nod or grunt has appeased him thus far, thankfully. He’s borrowing my car after he drops us off at home to pick up a new drum set or something. I couldn’t care less.
“Yo, watch out!” Conor grabs my arm, and I slam on the brakes in the nick of time. I almost drove through a red light. Seconds later, a truck barrels through the intersection where we would have been.
Fuck. I take a deep, shuddering breath and close my eyes.
When I open them, Conor’s watching me with a concerned expression. He shakes his head. “Zach…what the fu—”
I cut him off. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“You almost—”
“But I didn’t, right? I didn’t. We’re fine.” Gwen peeks her head between the two seats.
“What’s going on?” She’s been so engrossed in her phone she missed the whole thing, thank god.
“Nothing.” I shoot Conor a warning look to keep his mouth shut and he glares back. I know I’m going to get some major shit for this.
Sure enough, we get to my house, and as soon as Gwen hops out, Conor turns to me with an expression that I’ve never seen on his face.
“Dude. Get your head out of your ass. You almost killed us back there.” He sounds so serious it pisses me off.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Um, yes. Yes, you did. Didn’t you see that truck? It would have slammed into us—”
“But it fucking didn’t, did it?” I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurts. “We’re fine.”
He shakes his head. “Not sure you’re fine.”
“I am fine.” I spit the word out.
He heaves a heavy sigh and then shrugs. “Fine. You’re fine. We’re all fine. Whatever, man. Moving on.” He pauses. “Will you do me a favor, though, and please come to this show tonight?”
He’s relentless with this fucking show. “Fine. I’ll go if it’ll stop you from harassing me any more. Jesus Christ.”
He smirks like he always does when he gets his way.
“Good. It’ll do you some good to get out of the house.”
I’m opening my car door when a thought occurs. I turn back to him with narrowed eyes. “May’s not going to be there, right? This isn’t some ridiculous scheme to try to get me to talk to her?”
Conor makes a face. “Seriously? First of all, I’m not one of those freshman girls who think you guys are star-crossed lovers. Second, do you think she wants to go out in public so soon, after everything? Pretty sure not.”