lit by the warm glow of the candles. He sat closer to her when he returned to the couch, watching as she stared at the flame, her face half in shadow. He took a sip of his beer, wondering what she was thinking.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been alone in a candlelit room with a man?” she said, turning her face to his.
“No,” he said.
“It’s a trick question. The answer is never.” She seemed amazed by the idea herself. “Isn’t that odd? I’ve been married, I have a child, I’ve dated, and never once has this happened before.” She hesitated. “And if you want to know the truth, this is the first time I’ve been alone with a man at his place since my divorce.” Her expression was almost sheepish.
“Tell me something,” she said, her face inches from his. “Would you have asked me inside if I hadn’t invited myself?” she asked. “Answer honestly. I’ll know if you’re lying.”
He rotated the bottle in his hands. “I’m not sure.”
“Why not?” she pressed. “What is it about me—”
“It has nothing to do with you,” he interrupted. “It has more to do with Nana and what she might think.”
“Because she’s your boss?”
“Because she’s your grandmother. Because I respect her. But mostly, because I respect you. I had a wonderful time tonight. In the past five years, I can’t think of a better time I’ve had with anybody.”
“And you still wouldn’t have invited me in.” Elizabeth seemed baffled.
“I didn’t say that. I said I’m not sure.”
“Which means no.”
“Which means I was trying to figure out a way of asking you in without offending you, but you beat me to the punch. But if what you’re really asking is whether I wanted to invite you in, the answer is, yes, I did.”
He touched his knee to hers. “Where’s all this coming from?”
“Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of luck in the dating world.”
He knew enough to stay silent, but when he lifted his arm, he felt her lean into him. “It didn’t bother me at first,” she finally said. “I mean, I was so busy with Ben and school, I didn’t pay much attention to it. But later, when it kept happening, I began to wonder. I began to wonder about me. And I’d ask myself all these crazy questions. Was I doing something wrong? Was I not paying enough attention? Did I smell funny?” She tried to smile, but she couldn’t fully mask the undercurrent of sadness and doubt. “Like I said, crazy stuff. Because every now and then, I’d meet a guy and think that we were getting along great, and suddenly I’d stop hearing from him. Not only did he stop calling, but if I happened to bump into him sometime later, he always acted like I had the plague. I didn’t understand it. I still don’t. And it bothered me. It hurt me. With time, it got harder and harder to keep blaming the guys, and I eventually came to the conclusion that there was something wrong with me. That maybe I was simply meant to live my life alone.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.
“Give me a chance. I’m sure you’ll find something.”
Thibault could hear the wound beneath the jest. “No,” he said. “I don’t think I will.”
“You’re sweet.”
“I’m honest.”
She smiled as she took a sip from her beer. “Most of the time.”
“You don’t think I’m honest?”
She shrugged. “Like I said. Most of the time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She put the bottle of beer on the table and gathered her thoughts. “I think you’re a terrific guy. You’re smart, you work hard, you’re kind, and you’re great with Ben. I know that, or at least I think I do, because that’s what I see. But it’s what you don’t say that makes me wonder about you. I tell myself that I know you, and then when I think about it, I realize that I don’t. What were you like in college? I don’t know. What happened after that? I don’t know. I know you went to Iraq and I know that you walked here from Colorado, but I don’t know why. When I ask, you just say that ‘Hampton seems like a nice place.’ You’re an intelligent college graduate, but you’re content to work for minimum wage. When I ask why, you say that you like dogs.” She ran a hand through her hair. “The thing is, I