The Lucky Five - By Arow Jones Page 0,58

burns down. I know Nick did it, he threatened me on the phone. And Blanche? I want to tear Blanche’s hair out. I want to scream and throw things. So, I did. The sounds of shattering and breaking are distant in the red haze of my fury. I’ve never been so out of control. Lately, it’s all I do, lose control.

The floor of my room is littered with broken glass from a picture frame I threw. Headless trophies and medals lay in front of my closet. At one point I threw a tin can full of pencils and pens. One of the pencils stuck to the ceiling.

I’m lying in the middle of feathers and shredded cloth, curled up into myself. My door cracks open.

“Knock, knock.” Skye peeks her head in then opens the door fully revealing my destructiveness. “Okay. You know, if you wanted to redecorate, you only had to ask.” She smiles. I try to smile back but I end up crying instead. I bow my head in my hands and let more tears come. “Oh, honey. It’s going to be okay. I promise. We’ll build a new barn. Thank goodness the horses weren’t there.” Remembering the horses were with us on the bluff. The bluff. I cry harder. “Shh. What’s this about? This can’t just be about the barn.”

I hate myself right now. While I was indulging in JT Nick had been setting fire to the barn. The ranch is already in trouble. There is no money to rebuild. Worse, so many memories were lost. Photos, mementos. Why? All because I selfishly wanted to keep the ranch to myself. I didn’t want it to be destroyed. And JT? Oh my god. I gave myself to him, completely. I should have told Nick before he did anything else.

“We… on the ridge. While we were,” I choke back a sob. “…you know? That bastard Nick did this. It’s all my fault. I should have just given him what he wanted and backed off.”

“Oh sweetie, it’s not your fault. You didn’t set that fire.” She rubs my back, like my mother used to do. I feel like I’ve let them down. “I’m so happy for you and JT.” She smiles knowing how much I wanted JT to be my first. It’s all I ever fantasized about. It was all ruined when I answered the phone.

“It’s not real. I married him to keep the ranch and he was just… it wasn’t real.” I can’t even say it, using me. The words are bitter in my mouth. Was he using me? Was I using him? I wanted the land and the only way to get it was to marry him. So, yes, I was using him. I also love him. More than I love the ranch? I’m so confused.

“Of course it’s real! I see the way he looks at you. He’s loves you just as you love him. We all saw it, when he mouthed ‘I love you’ right before he married you. Never doubt his love for you. All he’s ever done is look out for you. Remember the bonfire? It was JT who stayed by our sides. When you weren’t paying attention, he gave dirty looks to the guys who tried to approach you. And the bar? He was so jealous when he thought Kenny was a guy? He’s totally in to you. He loves you, silly girl.”

“Nick said Blanche told him he was just using me for the land. The land is worth a lot of money.”

“Since when do you listen to what those ass hats have to say? Nick is a total sleaze ball, always has been. And Blanche? There are no words to describe the depths of depravity that woman will go to get what she wants. She’s like a black hole sucking in the happiness around her and shooting out the other side of a time warp, never to be seen again.” I frown.

“Black hole? Time warp?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started. Grayson made me watch a space soap marathon last night. I wanted to ‘beam’ the hell out of the there. I couldn’t though. Knowing Grayson he would tie me to a chair. At least he feeds me strawberry shakes. Honey, you are a wreck. Whatever you do. Don’t do anything rash. JT isn’t going anywhere.”

She’s right. I am a wreck and I’m not stupid. I could feel JT’s love for me in all the moments we’ve shared. Why now do I doubt him?

I’m scared.

I’m worried.

“Let’s get