The Lucky Five - By Arow Jones Page 0,34

ran out the door.

I felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut. Her pain was my pain. This was all so convoluted, ridiculous legality, and meddling matchmakers. What did they think was going to happen when she found out? She’d just up and throw herself at me. “Yes please, JT, let’s get married. Sounds swell.” Not.

My heart hurt a little to think she didn’t want me but it didn’t matter. I would never abandon her. She was it for me. Even if she decided on Nick or Kenny, or whoever lucky bastard won her heart, I would always be there for her. It might sound corny but it’s a Tanner legacy, taking care of the James family.

My legacy.

I do the only thing I know how to do. I chase after her.

When she gets to the barn she stops. My heart feels like it’s ripping in two watching her sob. My hand reaches out to her but she turns away. “Lily. I’m sorry. Gramps and I… I don’t even know how to explain it… he thought of me as the grandson he never had. Chase wasn’t lying about how I feel about you.” I crouch down in front of her. She’s sitting on a bench. “Lily? I know this isn’t how we both picture it but I would be honored if you would be my bride. The land is yours and you will always have a place here.”

I held her hands as she cried. Not tears of joy, tears that made me want to rip my heart out.

Fifteen

My pillow was soaked with my tears. Last night JT proposed, if you could call it that. I may know every little detail about this man but we’ve barely dated. Arranged? What the hell was Gramps thinking? This is the twenty first century for crying out loud!

He didn’t picture this? I didn’t picture this!

I spent the entire day in my room. Kenny came up a few times to check on me, bring up food, and sit with me. I cried. Then I cried some more.

“Lil’ maybe this is a good thing. You can keep the land and JT.”

“Of course I want to stay here! But I wanted JT to want me not feel sorry for me. I know I’m not his type. I could never be what he deserves.”

“No, you are so much more. You’re beautiful and capable. If JT can’t see that… you know what, who cares, marry him.”

“What?”

“Marry him. Even if it’s just on paper. He said he wanted to take care of you no matter what. Then do it. Marry him on paper. If something more grows out of it then great. If not, then at least you are set for life.”

“Kenny, you’ve lost your mind.”

“I’m serious. Sometimes the unconventional is the only way to be with your soul mate. Even if he doesn’t realize it yet.”

Could I do this? Marry for money? For land?

My whole life was a lie.

I truly am alone.

Alone.

I thought Gramps and I had a connection. He knew my dreams for this place. I was a homebody. This is my home. Was my home. Everything I’d worked towards didn’t matter anymore. I could lose this land to Nick. Nick effing Parker! Ugh! Gramps would roll over in his grave if he knew I didn’t honor his wishes and let this land go to such a slime ball of a human being.

No.

This isn’t even my home anymore.

I’m homeless!

As the waning daylight streamed through my window the words to Kelly Clarkson’s Breaking Your Own Heart hummed through me. By the end of the song I knew I had to get out of bed. This was life shattering but it wasn’t the end of the world.

I had a choice. At least I had a choice. And I had time to decide, I hope.

I take out my phone and text the one person I know tell me the truth.

After a long talk I get on my bike and drive through the country side. Lately, I’ve spent more time on the back of a horse than on my bike. My motorcycle is all about speed. I’m not worried about where I’m going. I just go. Fast. I need the adrenaline rush. All my worries are put aside. I can’t think about the rest of my life when I have to concentrate on what’s in front of me. Eventually I find myself back in town. I park and walk to the grocery store to pick up a few things for tonight’s poker