it define my life. I kept my composure, not letting her see how deep what she’d said cut. “It may have happened ten years ago, but now that the show is streaming there’s been a resurgence in attention. It’s found an entirely new audience who is interested in my relationship with Gio. But guess what comes up when you search our names?” Tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
Mia’s face softened as she reached out and put her hand over mine. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I sniffed back my unwanted emotion. “But I just don’t think that I should be the face of the show. I don’t want that sort of negative publicity.”
“First of all, we are living in the post hashtag-me-too era. Everyone is woke, whatever that means. And I’m not trying to minimize the trauma that you experienced and are still experiencing, but that video is tame compared to peoples’ Only Fans, or half of the TV shows and movies out there.”
I doubted that.
My expression must’ve given my thoughts away, because she shot back defensively, “I’m serious. Have you seen Normal People?”
“Yes, and I read the book.” And I loved them both.
“They showed the whole kit and caboodle.” She waved her hands over her boobs and lap.
She was right, but that didn’t change how I felt.
“Look, if you really don’t want to do it, that’s fine. We’ll figure it out. Or not. It doesn’t really matter. But don’t not do it because you think it will tarnish the show. It absolutely won’t. Honestly, though, I don’t think it’s that. I think you’re scared, and you want to keep hiding in your shell.”
“My shell?” I wasn’t a recluse. I went out all the time.
“Yes. The turtle shell that is your life. When is the last time you went on a date?”
She knew the answer, so I remained silent. I hadn’t been out on a date since I broke up with Gio. The day the video made front-page news.
“Exactly.” She wobbled back and forth slightly as she sat up tall in her chair. Somehow in the last day she looked like her belly had grown even bigger. I could see how uncomfortable she was, and I hoped it was just normal pregnancy aches and pains and not that my refusal was adding to her stress.
She rested her forearms on the tabletop and leaned forward. Earnestness brimming in her eyes. “You can host the show or not, that’s up to you. I don’t care about the show. I mean, I care about it, obviously, but not more than I care about you. I’m worried about you, hon. I haven’t said anything before, because who am I to judge the timeline of someone recovering from that sort of trauma. But I think it’s past time to take your power back. That stuff is out there and there is nothing that you can do about it. You can’t hide for the rest of your life.”
I didn’t see why not. That sounded like a great plan to me.
“When is the last time you’ve even been interested in someone?”
My cheeks heated as I pictured Jackson’s face.
“Oh, is there someone you’re interested in?”
“No,” I lied. “There’s not.”
“I see your nose growing, Pinocchio.”
Lying was always the last resort for me. Mainly because I was horrible at it. Sadly, I had not inherited my grandmother’s gift for acting and rarely got away with being deceitful. But there was no way I was going to admit to Mia that in the past two days I’d developed a Grand Canyon-sized crush on her brother-in-law.
“Is it Jackson?” she whispered conspiratorially, even though we were the only two people in the house.
Her bullseye guess caught me off guard and I sucked in a startled breath.
“It is Jackson.” She pointed her finger at me accusatorily as her smile stretched from ear to ear.
There was no point in denying what my reaction had confirmed. “How did you know?”
“Well, first, because I have eyes. I mean look at him. He’s gorgeous. Also, I was running errands after our lunch yesterday and I saw him giving you a walking tour of the town. I called out and waved, but you two looked like you were in your own world together. I’m pretty sure a volcano could’ve erupted next to you and neither one of you would’ve noticed.”
That was exactly how it had felt, like we’d been in our own private bubble. But I never would’ve guessed that’s what it would