Lovewrecked - Karina Halle Page 0,61
it’s making me feel better.
“It was probably a fish,” he says. “That could be our lunch.”
“You didn’t even bring a rod.”
“I can spear fish.”
I pull back to look at him, our faces just inches apart. He’s gazing at me through black wet lashes. Lucky bastard. I can’t get that look even with a million coats of mascara.
“You spear fish?” I ask, my voice quieter now, since our lips are so close.
“Mmmhmm,” he murmurs, his weighted gaze on my mouth. “I can spear a lot of things.”
Oh jeez. I’m suddenly, painfully aware that if I let myself lower on his waist, just a little, the tip of his dick will touch me in just the right place. That’s assuming he has a hard-on, and from the way he’s looking at me, I’m pretty sure he does.
I’d wager…
Before I even know what’s happening, I lean forward, my body operating on instinct only.
And I kiss him.
I can’t help it.
All these weeks of wanting to do this, wanting to know what his lips feel like against mine, it was inevitable that I’d lose control.
He stiffens at first, hesitating, then I feel the muscles in his back relax as he kisses me back.
And…shit.
I mean…wow.
He’s a good kisser.
Lips soft but firm, his tongue slow and teasing at first, then as his mouth opens, becomes hungrier, greedier, I feel like I’m about to be devoured, god I want to be devoured, and…
We both slip under the water, submerged, still kissing, Tai unable to keep us both afloat.
Then we break apart, coming up for air.
I stare at him.
He stares at me.
A goat stares at the both of us.
“Oh my god!” I cry out suddenly at the goat who has appeared in the foliage behind Tai.
Tai whips around. “Oh. Hello. A goat.”
The goat opens its mouth and lets out a horrible bleat that sounds more like a human scream.
“Holy shit,” I swear, my heart racing fast for so many reasons. “What is up with that goat?”
The goat does another bleat, then turns around and runs back into the trees.
Tai watches it go, his back to me, and in that moment I realize he’s trying to put distance between us, between what had just happened.
I kissed him. He kissed me back.
Maybe he needs time to process.
“Tai?”
He slowly turns around, treading water. He looks at me. The expression in his eyes has changed. It’s harder somehow. Distant.
“It’s just a goat,” I tell him, half-joking.
He doesn’t smile.
Shit. Did I screw everything up?
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my stomach all swirling with knots.
“Why are you sorry?” he asks. He doesn’t swim any closer, his voice is flat.
“For kissing you.”
“You have to stop apologizing for those things.”
“Then I’m sorry…for whatever has made you turn cold like this.”
He frowns, his gaze turned away. “I’m not cold…I…”
“If you’re still mad about the boat, I get it. I hate myself for what I did and I’m so, so sorry. It was an accident, I—”
“Stop,” he says sharply. His brow furrows sympathetically, face softening. “I’m not mad at you Daisy. I was mad. I was…scared. And I’m sorry I took it out on you, I shouldn’t have, and I know you obviously didn’t do it on purpose. I know it was an accident.” He pauses, worrying his lip between his teeth. “I should have told you this earlier and I’m a dick for not doing so. Sometimes my stubbornness gets the best of me. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my head…it’s like I can’t see the big picture anymore.”
My chest feels lighter, like it suddenly has wings. I can’t help but smile at his forgiveness. I mean, yes, it would have helped if he told me this earlier, but still.
“I totally get it,” I tell him.
“You don’t,” he says softly. “I never hated you, Daisy, but I hate myself. Because I know it’s my fault.”
“Your fault? I’m the one who pushed autopilot.”
He shakes his head, the pool reflecting in his eyes. “I should have been more prepared that night. I shouldn’t have even gone to sleep, should have stayed up with Richard. You…I let myself be distracted by you, Daisy. I went to sleep because I wanted to at least sleep with you. Beside you. Just once. You make it so hard to think about anything else. And that’s my job. I need to be thinking about everything else. I’m the captain and it’s my duty to look after the ship, to look after everyone and make sure they’re safe. And that night, I couldn’t do