Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood #10) - J. R. Ward Page 0,51

up with a glare, she froze; which told him that, in fact, she hadn’t noticed he’d arrived.

Great. She was so into her new old job, she’d forgotten about him already.

“Ah … hey.” Glancing back down, she resumed what she was doing, yanking at—

An extension cord whipped out from underneath the file cabinet, the sharp-toothed end going flying.

Before it ripped around and caught her a good one, he leaped forward, snatched a hold on the thing, and took the hit himself, the sting of pain lighting off on his rib cage.

“Thanks,” she said as he handed it over and stepped away. “It was jammed back there.”

So … you’re going to work here now?

“Yeah. I am. I don’t think that other option is realistic. And”—her eyes got hard—“if you try to tell me I can’t—”

God, Xhex, this is not what we are. He motioned back and forth over the desk that separated them. This is not us.

“Actually, I guess it is, because we’re here, aren’t we.”

I don’t want to stop you from fighting—

“But you have. Let’s not pretend otherwise.” Xhex sat down in the office chair and leaned back, a squeak rising up. “Now that you and I are mated, the Brothers, even your king, take their cues from you—no, wait, I’m not finished.” She closed her eyes as if exhausted. “Just let me talk this out. I know they respect me, but they respect a mated male’s prerogative over his shellan more. It’s not specific to the Brotherhood—it’s the very fabric of vampire society, and no doubt it’s because a bonded male is a dangerous animal. You can’t change that, and I can’t live like that, so yeah, this is where we are.”

I can talk to them, make them—

“They’re not the root problem.”

John felt a sudden urge to punch a wall. I can change.

Abruptly her shoulders dropped, and her eyes, those gunmetal gray eyes, grew stark. “I don’t think you can, John. And neither can I. I’m not going to sit home and wait for you to come back at dawn every night.”

I’m not asking you to do that.

“Good, because I’m not going back to the mansion.” As John felt the blood drain out of his head, she cleared her throat. “You know, that whole bonding thing … I know you can’t help it. I was pissed off when I left, but I’ve been thinking it over ever since then, and—Shit, I know if you could feel different, be different, you would. The reality is, though, we could spend another miserable couple of months figuring that out, and learn to hate each other in the process—and I don’t want that. You don’t want that.”

So you’re done with me, he signed. Is that it?

“No! I don’t know—I mean, fuck.” She threw her hands up. “What else am I going to do? I’m so frustrated with you, with me, with everything—I’m not sure I’m even talking any sense.”

John frowned, finding himself in the same tough spot she was in. Where was the middle road?

There is more to us than this, he signed.

“I want to believe that,” she said sadly. “I really do.”

On impulse, he walked around the desk and stood over her. Gripping the armrest, he turned the chair toward him and put out both his palms, offering them to her.

There was no demand. No aggression. She would choose or not choose.

After a moment, Xhex placed her hands in his, and when he pulled her up, she didn’t fight him.

Slipping his arms around her, he brought her close—and then moving with power, he bent her off balance, holding her in his powerful arms, keeping her from the floor.

With eyes boring into hers, he brought their lips together once, briefly. When she didn’t slap him, kick him in the nuts, or bite him, he dropped his head and took her mouth properly, plying her to open for him.

When she did, he melded her body to his and kissed the ever-living shit out of her. One of his hands ended up on her ass, squeezing; the other got clamped on the back of her neck. As a groan came up her throat, he knew he’d proved his point.

Although he had no immediate solution to the bonded-male situation, he knew this connection between them was a for-sure, in a world that had suddenly seemed filled with maybe-not.

He stopped the kiss. He put her back down where she had been sitting. He went to the door.

Text me when you want to see me again, he signed. I’m