then from out of the infinite nothing, he saw the woman again. She was dark-haired, with eyes that reminded him of someone he'd loved... No, not reminded... hers were the eyes of his... What? Of his what?
John swayed. Heard voices coming at him from a distance.
On the inside of him, in his chest, down deep in the chambers of his beating heart, he felt a splintering, like he'd split in half. He was losing her... he was losing the dark-haired woman... he was...
He felt his mouth go wide, working as if he were trying to speak, but then spasms overtook him, jerking Page 59
J R Ward: Lover Awakened
through his little body, flopping him off the soles of his feet, sending him tumbling to the ground.
Zsadist knew it was time to get Bella out of the tub, because she'd been in it for almost an hour and her skin was pruning up. Except then he glanced through the water at the towel he kept pulling into place over her body.
Shit... getting her out with that thing on was going to get messy.
With a wince, he reached over and pulled it off.
Looking away quickly, he slung the wet load to the floor and grabbed a dry one, which he put right next to the tub. Gritting his teeth, he leaned forward and pushed his arms into the water, going for her body. His eyes ended up right on the level of her breasts.
Oh, God... They were perfect. Creamy white with little pink tips. And the water flirted with her nipples, teasing them with rippling kisses that made them glisten.
He squeezed his lids shut, pulled his arms out of the tub, and sat back on his heels. When he was ready to try again, he focused on the wall ahead and arched over... only to feel a quick shot of pain at his hips. He looked down, confused.
There was a swollen bulge in his pants. The it was so hard, a tent had popped out of the front of his warm-ups.
Clearly the thing had gotten squeezed against the side of the tub when he'd leaned over, and that was what the stinger was about.
Cursing, he pushed the it around with the heel of his hand, hating the feel of the heavy weight, the way the hard length got tangled in his sweats, the fact that he had to deal with it at all. Except no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get the thing arranged right, at least not without putting his hand inside and working it around, which he was damn well not going to do. Eventually he gave up and left the erection caught at an angle, twisted and hurting.
Served the bastard right.
Zsadist took a deep breath, slid his arms into the water, and wrapped them under Bella's body. He lifted her out, shocked anew at how light she was; then he propped her against the marble wall using the outside of his hip and a hand on her collarbone. He picked up the towel he'd left on the Jacuzzi's edge, but before he put it around her, his eyes shifted to the letters on the skin of her stomach.
Something odd lurched in his chest, a heavy weight... No, it was a descending sensation, as if he were falling down, though he was on a level. He was astonished. It had been so long since anything had broken through the anger or the numbness. He had a feeling he was... sad?
Whatever. She had goose bumps, was covered in them. So now was not the time to get all into himself.
He wrapped her up and carried her to the bed. Shoving the comforter aside, he laid her out flat, taking the damp towel off of her. As he covered her with the sheets and blankets, he caught sight of her belly again.
That weird tilting sensation came back, like his heart had taken a gondola ride into his gut. Or maybe his thighs.
He tucked her in and then went to the thermostat. Facing the dial, looking at numbers and writing he didn't Page 60
J R Ward: Lover Awakened
understand, he had no idea what to turn it to. He moved the little pointer from all the way to the left to somewhere right of center, but he wasn't sure exactly what he'd done.
He glanced over to the bureau. The two syringes and the glass vial of morphine were sitting where Havers had left them. Z went over, picked up a needle, the drug,