He kissed me again, his hips slamming against me, a little faster. Then he let go. His body shuddered against mine as he rammed into me a few more times. I loved that; how his whole body shook and he fell apart.
Then he collapsed on top of me. I held him tight against me, both of us breathing fast and deep. We lay like that, in a sweaty heap, for a long while as the pleasure ebbed through me.
“That was a really good jog,” I finally said, breathless. “Invigorating.”
Cary lifted his head just enough to grin at me.
I slapped his ass and wriggled out from under him. “Ugh… too hot.”
He rolled off me and we stretched out on our backs, side-by-side. He pulled his sweats up and I managed to cover all the important stuff with my stretchy clothes. My pants were gone but I still had my top on, and some very wet panties. I really needed to go peel this all off. But for now, I couldn’t quite get up.
I sighed contentedly.
“I haven’t kissed anyone in over five years.”
I looked at him. He held my gaze with his warm-honey eyes.
“Oh,” I said. “Wow.” I tried to wrap my head around that. Apparently, we were getting serious. Like right now. “But… what about that woman you said you had sex with this year?”
He sighed and looked grim. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
“Okaaay. That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s fine,” he said, taking my hand gently. “It’s not something you need to worry about.”
“Oh, now that just sounds bad.”
“Sorry. Did I mention I’m rusty with this whole relationship thing?”
I squirmed inwardly at that word. Relationship.
We weren’t exactly in a relationship. But then again… we weren’t exactly not in one, either. A unique relationship, maybe.
“I’m listening,” I said carefully.
He took a deep breath. “There’s this place I go. It’s hard to describe. Basically… it’s a sex club.”
I pulled my hand from his, automatically. I didn’t mean to. It was just… “Uh… that is not something a woman is ever prepared to hear, I don’t think.”
He blew out a breath. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Of course I don’t hate you. I just need a moment…”
I studied his face, the discomfort there. I could see how hard this was for him; opening up in any way. And I didn’t expect him to just tear open his whole life for me because we were now having sex.
But he owed me honesty, if nothing else, when we were together.
With all the times I’d been cheated on and dicked around…
I wouldn’t accept any less.
“Wait,” I said, something snagging at me. “What do you mean… you go there?”
He sighed. “Liam would drive me. I’d go once in a while. There was a woman I’d meet there sometimes. Can you hear me out before you decide I’m a creep?”
“I’m not deciding that. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be picturing here. You say ‘sex club’ and I really have no idea what that means. I’m picturing whips and chains in a dark nightclub basement.”
“Then you have the wrong picture.”
“Good.” I struggled to wrap my head around what he was telling me, but I had way too many questions. “Does your sister know about this?”
“Why would my sister know about this?” he said dryly.
“I just mean… your friends seem to think you never leave the house. Is that even true?”
He closed his eyes, like he couldn’t even look at me while he said this. “I don’t leave the house. Except… to go there.”
“To a sex club.”
He opened his eyes. “I know. This sounds… fucking terrible.”
It did. It was not exactly something I was hoping to hear.
I didn’t even know it was a thing I might hear.
But, he’d said it.
Sex club.
I took his hand again. “Okay. Look. This is a lot to digest. But if this is the only place you’ve gone in a while, there must be a reason. You can tell me. I won’t judge. I can’t say I’ll be thrilled about it or anything… but I will really, really try not to judge.”
“Okay. I want to explain this to you. I’ve been thinking about how to tell you…” He took a moment gathering his thoughts. “I was seeing a girl when Gabe died.” Then he just stopped talking.
“We don’t have to talk about that,” I said automatically. I wanted to talk about it, honestly. But not if it was too hard for him.