many shots was that now? The pickles were making them go down weirdly easy.
“And I’m making a video of it,” she went on. “’Cause then I’m selling that shit, and we’re gonna be rich as hell.”
“You’d use me and my dick like that?”
“It’s not about your dick. Duh. It’s about the mermaid.”
“Oh. Right.”
“You come on a mermaid’s face, that’s the money shot of the millennium. I wonder if her skin would be slimy…”
“You have a vivid imagination, Taylor Lawson.”
“I know. And it’s vividly dirty.” She rested her head back against the side of the pool. “How do mermaids make babies? Do you think some guy fucked a fish long ago and that’s how the first mermaid came about?”
“You know mermaids aren’t real, right?” I slid over in front of her, kinda trapping her against the wall of the pool. I smoothed the wet ends of her hair back off her shoulders. “Also, pretty sure fish don’t fuck.”
“Maybe mermaids drop eggs, like fish,” she mused.
“Sexy.”
She slid her arms around my shoulders, gazing up at me. “What if I dropped eggs right now? And then I made you come in the water and then we had little fish babies living in the pool?”
“I knew you were strange when I met you.”
“We could charge admission.”
“Is this another of your get-rich schemes?”
“Hey, you started it by calling me a mermaid.”
“I called you a siren.”
“Oh, yeah,” she said, like she’d forgotten how this whole conversation started. “What do sirens have between their legs?”
I slid a hand between her legs and stroked her through her bikini. “This, I imagine.”
“Oh…” Her eyes softened.
“So you can see why those poor fuckers crashed their ships,” I said, my voice getting husky.
She melted, holding onto my shoulders as I ran my fingertip back and forth against her slit. “Yeah?” she breathed. “You’d cross the ocean for that?”
“Uh-huh. Few oceans.”
“Hmm. Easy to say when you can just hire a private jet.”
“Hey, don’t let the mode of transportation kill the compliment.” I brushed my lips along her jaw, my mouth drifting closer to hers. “It’s not my fault it’s the twenty-first century.”
She pushed me away a little, smiling. “Pour me another one of those vodka shots.”
I poured us both another one. We clinked and shot it back.
“You know, it grows on you,” she said, as I plucked the shot glass from her hand and set it aside.
“Mmm.”
“My chest is warm.”
“Mm-hmm,” I said, pressing in closer. “My balls are warm.”
“Is that the vodka talking?”
I kissed her instead of answering that. I pressed my body, naked, against hers, sliding her soft, vodka-soaked lips open and plunging my tongue inside. She tasted like booze and dill and salt and sweet and I could’ve eaten her all night.
Her hands slid onto my shoulders. Then she pushed herself up while shoving my shoulders down—and shoved me underwater with all her drunken strength. She was already scrambling away when I reached for her, and when I popped back to the surface, she was splashing and screaming, kicking at me while I tried to grab her slippery feet.
I grabbed an ankle and hauled her back toward me. I yanked her into my arms. Then I kissed her again, holding her locked against me as she wriggled, laughing into our sloppy-drunk kiss. The strings at the back of her bikini top drifted over my hands and I grabbed hold, tugging gently.
Then she wrenched her lips away from mine.
“Wait! Turn it up!” she shouted, to no one in particular. Metallica had come on, “Don’t Tread On Me.” “Aughh, song orgasm,” she moaned, pawing at me, trying to push out of my arms. “You can’t have a song like this come on and not turn it UP.” She squirmed away from me, swim-walking over to the side of the pool where her phone lay on a towel.
I sent a couple of small waves sloshing over her.
“Stop it! Phone! NO WATER!” I stopped splashing and she turned up Metallica. Then she hauled herself quickly out of the pool, slipping away from me.
“You know, I have neighbors,” I informed her dryly.
“Well, they should be enjoying their backyards right now. I’ve kindly provided them with music.” She smiled, pleased with herself, and walked out to the end of the diving board. She plucked her swimsuit fabric out of her ass crack, which was somehow sexy when she did it.
Then she hopped up in the air and did an impressive cannonball into the pool that slapped me in the face with water.