Loved by a Beast - Miranda Bridges Page 0,57

to weep.”

Tremors snake along my frame as the memories bombard me, and it takes several minutes for them to stop. Jaxar stares at me all the while, a silence blanketing the room. I keep my gaze on his, watching the gold become dimmer the longer he looks at me. His facial expression gives nothing away, but that is normal. However, I’m usually able to discern some type of emotion lingering in his eyes, and right now I can’t. It’s like he’s dead inside.

“Jaxar, what’s wrong?” My voice is loud in the quiet even though it’s no more than a whisper. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He closes his eyes as though he’s shutting me out, and I frown. Then he disentangles himself from me and shifts so that there’s a space between us. I extend my hand to touch him, and before I do, he growls, making me retract my arm so quickly that it slams against my chest.

“Don’t,” he says, finally opening his eyes.

I gasp at the churning anger in his gaze, not recognizing the male in front of me. “What is wrong with you?” I ask, sitting up. “We’ve been through hell and back together, and now you want to be distant with me? I don’t think so. The last time you pushed me away, it didn’t end well, and I’ll be damned if I play this game with you again. So you better start talking now or I’m leaving.”

With every second that passes, my hurt grows right alongside my anger. After too many minutes have come and gone, I flip off Jaxar and jump from the bed. I march toward the entrance, mumbling under my breath about the stupidity of males and their emotional constipation. Just as I grasp the flap, Jaxar’s hand shoots out to clamp onto my wrist.

Fuck, he’s fast.

Then he spins me so that I’m facing him, all but falling against him as he snarls at me. “You think to leave?” he grits out.

“I don’t understand you. If you want to be with me, then that’s fine, but when you need space, you think it’s okay to reject me?” I jab my finger into his chest as I glare up at him. “When you’re ready to tell me what’s going on inside that stupid head of yours, I’ll come back. Until then, leave me alone.”

“You are not going anywhere.”

With a quickness that leaves me disoriented, Jaxar crosses the room and plants me into an empty chair. When I try to rise, he holds me down and proceeds to tie my wrists behind my back with his hair tie, just like he did the night I went into labor. Although I want to scream bloody murder, I don’t because I know someone will come, thinking I’m in trouble. And I’m just not in the mood to explain myself, let alone suffer embarrassment. So I stare up at my husband as he paces back and forth in front of me, his tail twitching.

“You want me to tell you what’s inside my mind, but you will not give me the time to gather my thoughts,” he snaps, giving me a peek of his fangs. “For you it is an easy task, but for me it gives a voice to things best left in silence.”

I say nothing, keeping my features schooled.

“Do you know what it’s like to see you shake in terror, to hear your screams?” He shakes his head so forcefully that his loose hair flies about his shoulder. “It is agony like I’ve never known, yet you want me to revisit those emotions. As if the very thought doesn’t make me want to rip out my heart to avoid the pain of it.”

He grips the tops of my thighs and leans close. “Losing you is worse than death, and that almost happened today, in front of my fucking face, with me powerless to stop it. And you almost died bringing our son into the world. How many times will I have to endure watching you fight to stay alive while being able to do nothing? Nothing!”

I flinch as he pushes away from me and stands erect with his arms folded. “I cannot and will not lose you, Makayla.”

If I were not already sitting, I would be on the floor. Jaxar, the strongest person I know, is not able to cope with the idea of me being dead. I don’t want to be without him either, but this is something more, a deep-seated fear that