Loved by a Beast - Miranda Bridges Page 0,41
suck in a breath. “Be sure to listen carefully. I did not allow that trazak the use of my name. She did it without my permission and was reprimanded shortly after. If you heard the first part, then you should’ve heard the second. So did you?”
“No,” I grit out, fighting to keep my arousal in check when he rubs me faster.
He kisses the side of my neck, nipping at the delicate skin as he continues to pleasure me. “And I only accepted her help so you would be free from the stress of that, not to mention the rest of the things you usually do as my Massela. I wanted your only focus to be caring for yourself and our unborn youngling because nothing was more important to me.”
Somehow through my panting I’m able to speak. “Is that why you kept tribal matters from me?”
He nods, and his hands and tail stop moving. “Had I known how much it would upset you, I never would’ve made that decision.”
“It really hurt me,” I say, turning my head. “I thought you didn’t want me anymore in that area of your life but also in bed.”
He moves so swiftly that my brain doesn’t process my change in position until the blood settles in my head. From one breath to the next, Jaxar has pulled me onto his lap, setting me upright and facing him with my knees on either side of his hips. His cock presses into my belly and against my clit, while my breasts graze his chest every time I inhale. As if we aren’t close enough, Jaxar grabs my hips and pulls me flush to him so that there is practically no space between us. Our breaths mingle, and our gazes lock, now eye level with each other.
He slides one hand up to the nape of my neck while the other encircles my lower back. I can’t move or look away, even if I tried.
“Not want you in my bed?” he repeats, his lips a flat line. “How could you ever think that?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, gathering the courage to be vulnerable emotionally. Physically I’m already there, since he has removed my clothing, rendering me nude, and my legs are spread, allowing him access to my sex.
“My body during the pregnancy wasn’t attractive,” I say. “I was huge, and my stomach made it a challenge to be intimate.”
He shakes his head, clicking his tongue in admonishment. “You look beautiful to me in all ways and at all times, Makayla. And my desire for you never waned. If anything, watching your belly swell with my offspring made me want you all the more. I had to stop myself from fucking you on several occasions because Anwa warned me it could cause your labor to start early. I didn’t want to endanger the youngling.”
“So that’s why you wouldn’t come to bed?” I ask, comprehension dawning. He wanted to protect me and the baby, not intentionally reject me. Like a cool breeze glides through a forest, his words sweep away the hurt, leaving behind a sense of tranquility and relief.
Jaxar nods. “How could I touch you without wanting to thrust into your body? How could I kiss you without wanting to devour you? Such a thing is not possible, so I kept my distance.” He drops his forehead to rest it against mine. “But I realize there is more to it than that.”
I wait, not quite sure what he’s going to say but knowing it’s important. The second his body tenses, it’s clear he’s battling something internal. I just hope he finally tells me.
“I thought you were going to die.”
His words carry fear and anguish that shoot straight to my heart, piercing it and releasing his pain so that it flows over me.
“I couldn’t accept the potential outcome,” he says, his voice so low I wouldn’t hear it if I wasn’t so close. “And if I allowed myself to think about it, the fear that ravaged me was crippling. For the first time in my life, I truly experienced that emotion to the fullest, and I’m ashamed to admit I could not deal with it. So I avoided it.”
I cup his cheek, running my thumb along his face. “So you protected yourself by pushing me away… I wish you would’ve told me so that I could’ve comforted you. And truth be told, I needed reassurance from you as well because I was scared too.”
I wrap my arms around his neck,