Loved by a Beast - Miranda Bridges Page 0,17
guess I’m scared that he’s going to say everything is fine and that I’ll still feel miserable.”
“I get that,” she says, “but you have to try.”
I sigh and look over at Tika again. She’s moved on from silly faces to making noises. I want her and my unborn baby to have stable childhoods more than anything. With my own father constantly out chasing someone’s skirt, my mom was often upset, and no matter how much she tried to hide it from me, I always knew. Despite whatever happens with me and Jaxar, I will not expose my children to anything that’s damaging or hurtful. They don’t deserve to get caught up in adult affairs.
“Okay,” I say finally. “I will try.”
“I think that’s for the best.”
Even as I smile at my friend, the knots in my stomach become tighter. However, I can’t be a coward about this, and the sooner everything is out in the open, the sooner I will have some sort of closure.
I just hope it’s not the end of my marriage.
I once said that Jaxar was a stalker because he watched me during the journey, or Esselaya, but tonight it’s me.
And I’m a hell of a lot less stealthy.
Since Tika is staying the night with Scarlett, I don’t have to worry about her. My friend was more than happy to watch my daughter because she misses Draal, but she also agreed that my conversation with Jaxar should be done in private. Scarlett also predicted it would end with make-up sex.
Usually I would be all for it, but I feel as if I’ve gotten fatter since the last time Jaxar and I were intimate, and the self-consciousness that has risen from that makes me hesitant to have sex right now. However, that’s a moot point, since I can’t get that asshole in my bed, let alone in me.
I walk through the tents, keeping an ear out for his voice just in case he’s not in a meeting. The moon overhead is covered with clouds, allowing very little light to shine through, but luckily I can still see well enough that I won’t trip over anything. The campsite is quiet for the most part except for the occasional conversation or intimate encounter. I’ve all but gotten used to that sound, but there’s a small part of me that cringes.
The night air is cool as it brushes my skin, and the grass underneath my feet is soft. If it wasn’t against Jaxar’s orders, I would walk at night all the time. As is, I’m going to be in big trouble if he catches me right now. But I don’t care. If he was in bed with me like he’s supposed to be, then I wouldn’t be out here like a dumbass looking for him.
The sound of his voice has me stopping in my tracks. With my eyes wide, I search the area but finally realize that he’s inside one of the dwellings nearby. Creeping along the rear parts of the tents in front of me, I position myself so that I’m right outside the one he’s in. And then I get so close that the animal hide brushes my cheek.
“I thank you for your assistance, Grefina,” Jaxar says. “Your council on these matters has been most helpful.”
Like the normal wife I am, I think to myself, Who is Grefina?
“It is my honor, Masse,” the female says, her voice pleasant and with the hint of a smile in it. “Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do for you?”
The suggestion in her tone has me sucking in an angry breath right before I press my lips together to keep from being heard. A Boraq’s hearing, like their other senses, is heightened, and I don’t need to get caught eavesdropping.
Although, there are many eaves fucking dropping right now. Whatever that means. I’ve never really understood that phrase.
“I know you have been burdened with the overseeing of your people,” she says, “but I would like to relieve that in any way I can.”
Like the jealous wife I am, I think to myself, Who the fuck is this Grefina bitch that I’m about to shank?
I clench my hands into fists to keep from pulling out my golden hairpins and stabbing this whore in the face. And Jaxar. Let’s not forget he’s at fault as well. My heart pounds so furiously that I swear someone is going to hear it, but that can’t be helped. It’s only a matter of time before I scream or