“He clearly has no idea about your taste in art,” says Nell with a gurgle of laughter. “Or are you saying you like this freaky stuff?”
“Stop it,” I say crossly. “It’s irrelevant.”
“Don’t you think you need to be a little bit honest with him?” Sarika looks suddenly earnest. And I know she means well, but I’m not in the mood for a lecture about relationships.
“No!” I say. “I mean, I am!” I give a huge yawn before I can stop myself, and Nell peers at me.
“Ava, sweets, you look a bit shit, if you don’t mind me saying so. Are you coming down with something?”
“No.” I hesitate. “It’s just…”
“What?” demands Nell.
“I can’t sleep at Matt’s place,” I admit. “His bedroom’s freezing. And his bed is like a plank of wood.”
“Have you told him his bed is like a plank of wood?” queries Nell.
“Yes. But he says it’s really comfortable and he has no idea what I’m talking about.” As I look at my friends, I can feel my veneer slipping a little. “Look, Matt and I are compatible. We really are. But there are just a few tiny areas where we need to find a middle ground.”
“Oh, Ava.” Sarika wraps her arms around me, laughing. “You’re a love. I’m sure you’ll make it work, but not if you float around in denial.”
“If his art collection is the worst thing, it’s not so bad.” Nell shrugs.
They’re both being so nice and supportive, I feel a sudden urge to confide in them fully.
“It’s not the worst thing,” I confess. “The worst thing is I met his parents and they hate me.”
(I can’t admit the worst thing is I keep googling his ex-girlfriend. That does not sound cool.)
“How can they hate you already?” Sarika looks astounded, so I tell her and Nell about the book and Genevieve’s face being ripped in two, and they both burst into fresh hysterics.
“Glad you think it’s funny,” I say morosely.
“Sorry,” says Sarika, calming down. “But honestly, Ava, you do get into situations.”
“What about this ex-girlfriend?” says Nell, her eyes narrowing. “Is she an issue?”
“Dunno. There are two ex-girlfriends, actually. Or maybe three. But it’s Genevieve who works for the family company. And his parents love her.”
“Well, sod his parents,” says Nell robustly. “Ignore them. Refuse to engage, if they can’t be more polite.”
But already Sarika’s shaking her head.
“Bad strategy. Ava, you don’t want them complaining about you to Matt, putting a wedge between you. I’d say go the other way. Win his parents over. Go on a charm offensive.”
“Why the hell should Ava have to go on a charm offensive?” says Nell combatively, and Sarika sighs.
“She shouldn’t. I’m just being pragmatic.”
Nell rolls her eyes. “You’re such a bloody lawyer,” she says, and Sarika grins, because she and Nell have some version of this argument about three times a year. (Usually in the context of Nell telling Sarika to leave her job and her shitty bosses and stick it to the man. Whereupon Sarika ignores her advice, stays, and gets a pay rise.)
“Ava, Matt’s parents will love you,” reiterates Sarika, putting a hand on my arm. “They just don’t know you yet. You need to spend time with them. Next time Matt visits his parents, go along too. Bond with them. And don’t take Harold.”
“Sarika’s right,” chimes in Nell. “Don’t take Harold. I’ll have him.”
“But—”
“If you take Harold, it’s over,” Sarika cuts me off bluntly. “You think ripping the ex’s face in half was bad? Wait till he eats the lunch.”
“Or all the shoes,” says Nell.
“Or the priceless new goose-down pillow.”
They both gaze at me adamantly, and I fold my arms, not wanting to admit they have a point.
“Let’s wait till I get an invitation, shall we?”
“Anyway, I think Matt’s lovely,” says Sarika supportively. “What does he think of us?”
“Oh, he loves you,” I say automatically, then suddenly focus on Matt, who is approaching over the grass. He’s holding about ten bags of crisps in his arms, accompanied by Maud, who is talking very intently at him in a way I recognize.
“Oh God,” I say. “Maud’s got him.”
“Shit,” says Nell.
“Uh-oh,” says Sarika, biting her lip.
“I told him to say no,” I say. “I told him! But look at him, nodding away!”
“Poor love,” says Sarika, laughing. “Didn’t stand a chance.”
Matt is clearly captivated by Maud. I mean, everyone’s captivated by Maud, what with her amazing auburn hair and lustrous eyes and instant way of making you feel you’re special. He’s