face, holding two large jiffy bags. “I was given something to deliver to you.”
“To us?” says Matt in surprise.
“It was given to the manager earlier in the day.”
“By whom?” I say in astonishment, and the waiter turns the jiffy bags round so we can see the front of them. One reads, To Ava, from your friends, and the other reads, To Matt, from your friends.
“Wow,” I say, taking mine from the waiter. “Well…thanks.”
We wait until he’s disappeared, then look at each other.
“Did you know anything about this?” asks Matt.
“No! Not a clue. Shall we see what they are?”
We both rip open our packages and I pull out a red binder. On the front, in neat block capitals, someone has written in Sharpie:
MATT-LAND
A GUIDEBOOK
I glance up at Matt’s—and it’s the same but blue and the title reads:
AVA-LAND
A GUIDEBOOK
“Oh my God,” says Matt, shaking his head with a disbelieving smile. He opens his binder and peers at the first page. “No way.”
“What?”
“This is priceless.” He reads out loud: “ ‘Ava-land can be contradictory, unpredictable, and erratic. Yet it is always joyful, hopeful, and colorful. See page seven for Ava’s Sense of Color.’ ”
“Who wrote that?” I demand, half outraged and half wanting to laugh.
“Don’t know. Maud? Nell?” He turns the binder so I can see the page, but it’s typed out in some anonymous font.
“Well, you listen to this.” I read out from the first page of mine, which is headed Introduction to Matt-land. “ ‘When first approaching Matt, you may believe he cannot hear a word you say. He appears motionless. But as you become attuned to his manner, you will realize he can hear and will react according to his own timescale. See page four: How Matt Communicates.’ ” I slap the page gleefully. “Whoever wrote that knows you.”
“This is incredible.” Matt is leafing through incredulously. “Look, a contents page. ‘Food…Traditions…Wildlife…National Dress…’ ”
“You’ve got one too,” I say, laughing. “ ‘Culture…Technology…Habitat…History…’ ”
“Ha!” Matt barks with laughter. “ ‘The national dress of Ava-land may appear disconcerting at first. Do not be alarmed. Your eye will adjust in time to the myriad of colors and styles.’ ”
“What?” I say, in mock outrage. “OK, I’m finding yours.” I flick to the right page and read aloud. “ ‘National dress of Matt-land. This consists of trousers worn with a blue shirt. No other color is acceptable. Attempts to extend the range of national dress have, thus far, failed.’ ” I start laughing. “That is so true. That is so, so true!”
“It is not!” Matt looks down at his blue shirt. “Blue’s a good color,” he says defensively.
“ ‘Matt-land hovers around subzero temperatures,’ ” I read out. “ ‘Travelers are advised to dress accordingly.’ ”
“ ‘Venturers to Ava-land must prepare for the strange musical customs of this nation,’ ” he rejoins. “ ‘Consider earplugs.’ ”
“What a nerve!” I say indignantly. “Oh, here’s languages. ‘Commonly spoken languages in Matt-land include English, football, and logic.’ ”
“ ‘The languages of Ava-land include English, aromatherapy, and Harold,’ ” Matt replies. “Hey, I speak Harold too.”
“ ‘You cannot visit Matt-land without sampling ice cream.’ ”
“Snap!” says Matt, nodding at his binder. “ ‘You cannot visit Ava-land without sampling ice cream.’ ”
We smile at each other, then I flip randomly to another section.
“ ‘Wisdom naturally permeates Matt-land, as well as a strong, valuable seam: the ability to listen.’ Yes.” I nod, feeling a fresh swell of affection for Matt. “Yes, that’s true. You do listen.”
“ ‘Ava-land is transformative for the weary of soul,’ ” reads out Matt. “ ‘The fresh, optimistic air is a known tonic, although it can cause dizziness for those unaccustomed to its potency.’ ” Matt shoots me a little grin. “You made me dizzy. Still do.”
“ ‘Rare volcanic eruptions of spontaneity and playfulness give Matt-land an exciting prospect that belies its calm appearance,’ ” I read. “So true!”
“ ‘The altitudes and extremes of Ava-land can be challenging, but travelers will find vistas and delights well worth their efforts.’ ” Matt meets my eyes. “Vistas,” he repeats slowly. “And delights. That’s very well put.”
I have a feeling I know what he means by vistas. And delights. In fact, his gaze is so intent, I feel a tad flustered and look down again.
“Oh, look, there’s a conclusion,” I say as I turn to the last page. “ ‘In Matt-land you find a solid landscape of truth, integrity, and honor. Matt-land is a rare find’ ”—I break off, my throat lumpy, because this is so true. “ ‘Matt-land is a rare find for the discerning traveler disappointed by other, shallower terrains and will reward perseverance beyond measure.’ ”
“Wow,” says Matt, looking a bit shaken. “Well, this is what yours says…” He flips to