Love In Slow Motion (Love Beyond Measure #2) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,84

and before you touched my face and almost…almost this,” he said, his voice cracking a little, “in your kitchen. I won’t ever regret this kiss. Whatever the hell happens in the future, I will never regret it.”

Fredric sagged forward and pressed his face to Ilan’s shoulder, holding him tight. They’d stopped swaying, and the music was still soft but upbeat and all wrong for the moment. And yet, it still felt perfect. Fredric’s body against his, the warmth of him, knowing that this would never be meaningless. It didn’t erase his fear, but it allowed more room to hope, and it allowed him to believe that every step after that would be worth any risk Fredric ever asked him to take.

Chapter 19

Fredric woke up smiling, but it was impossible not to after that night. He’d taken one of the biggest risks of his life: he’d leapt off the cliff into an unknowable void, and he’d been caught in soft, strong arms. And like those fairy stories, Fredric wasn’t content to lie back and accept the kiss as his happily ever after.

Ilan was still petrified of being wrong for Fredric, of not being enough, of being fundamentally unlovable once push came to shove and the relationship became work. And he didn’t need Ilan to pour out his insecurities to know that, either.

Now, everything and nothing changed, and it was one of the few things that brought Fredric comfort when he faced down the reality of him and Ilan taking the next step in their relationship. Ilan was still himself, only he was older and kinder and a little less willing to make mistakes. It was something Fredric could work with, and it was also the reason he went home even after Ilan asked him to stay.

“You’re exhausted,” Fredric had said, placing his hand on Ilan’s cheek. He liked how it was still warm and still rough. His thumb touched the edge of his lip, and he let it linger there. “You need a good night’s sleep.”

“I could do that with you in my bed, you know,” Ilan teased, and the low, husky promise of more touching put Fredric’s willpower to the test.

But he shook his head, no matter how much he hated himself for doing it. He was grateful he could hear Agatha’s car sitting in Ilan’s driveway, because it gave him a reason not to linger. “That’s something for the third date,” Fredric promised him.

He knew Ilan was probably afraid if Fredric had time to step back and think, he’d change his mind, and he was going to have to be more patient than he’d ever been. But he didn’t mind. He dragged his hand lower, pressing it to the side of Ilan’s neck, and reached up into a kiss. He missed his mouth on the first try, but he dragged his lips toward the center and found Ilan’s tongue eager and waiting to push past his lips.

“God, this is going to drive me crazy,” Ilan groaned, curling his fingers into the front of Fredric’s shirt.

Fredric grinned. “What’s that saying about absence…”

“Don’t start with me,” Ilan growled, then gave him one last, fierce kiss before stepping back.

Fredric felt the loss of touch like an ache in his gut, but he still gripped Bas’ harness and commanded him to find the car. He took comfort in the dog resting between his legs, and he appreciated that Agatha didn’t try to make conversation.

She dropped him off with a short pat on his hand, then told him to call if he needed another ride. It helped settle something in him, and even though he wished desperately he was back with Ilan in his little house, in his soft bed, he knew that time would come.

The sun felt a little brighter when he took Bas out for his morning walk, even with December’s chill creeping up on him. He kept away from the water, but the spray from the waves was enough to keep him invigorated, and he was still grinning when he pushed through his back gate and moved to the kitchen to start his coffee and check his messages.

‘One message from Ilan,’ the voice announced, and he smiled even wider.

Ilan: I actually slept last night. I hope you’re happy.

Fredric: Over the moon.

Ilan: When can I see you again?

Fredric’s thumb hovered over his keys. In theory, Ilan could see him any time. He didn’t want their relationship changing who they were to each other. His door had never been closed to Ilan before,