Love In Slow Motion (Love Beyond Measure #2) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,68

this long in itself was telling, and apart from meeting with a consultant who was now officially hired to help him start up his own practice come next spring, he didn’t even have the excuse that he was busy.

All he could say that he was a giant asshole, a massive coward, and that he was sorry. Because at the very least, he was that. He just…didn’t know how to deal with the rest. Fredric was clearly terrified to lose him, and Ilan needed to fix it. He just wasn’t quite sure how to make it all work.

He’d decided on a drive up the coast when his phone rang, and when he saw it was Corinne, he knew he was in for it. He waited until he was out on the road before answering, and he said a small prayer that she’d hang up right as he pushed the button on the dash screen.

“So,” she hissed through the car speakers, and he winced as he pressed harder on the gas, “you are alive.”

“I think my lawyer probably would have contacted one of you if I wasn’t,” he shot back, ignoring the surge of guilt racing up his spine. “Julian gets all my money, but I willed you all my coffee mugs.”

“Cute. Except I’m not in the mood for your fucking jokes. Dad says that you’ve probably got a new boyfriend—which would be a fucking Christmas miracle…”

“I’m Jewish,” he said dryly.

“Exactly. As likely as a fucking Christmas miracle. Julian thinks you’re having an existential crisis, and as much as Dad wants to think something good is happening with you, he sounds worried. And you’re the asshole ignoring him.”

And he couldn’t really argue with that. He was ignoring him, and he was an asshole. “I don’t have a boyfriend.” What he had was a pile of fear he didn’t know how to work through, a crush that only got worse the more time he spent away from Fredric, and a tentative friendship with the one single guy he’d tried—and failed—to date. That was the sum of all his parts at the moment, and he’d never felt more pathetic. “I’m opening up a new practice, and it’s taking more time than I expected.”

“So much time you can’t call someone back?”

Ilan groaned as the traffic slowed to a crawl. “What the hell does it matter to you, anyway? When have you ever cared?”

Corinne let out a small breath. “I always care about my dad. Always. And I’m…trying to be better about Julian. I can’t really make up for the way I’ve been, but I can do this.” She was quiet a moment. “Since when do you answer my calls and not theirs?”

Since he’d fallen in love with her dad. And she would eviscerate him over it. Hell, she’d probably encourage everyone to join in, but he answered her call because she’d never been able to tell when he was lying. Not the way Fredric and Julian always could.

“I was going to call them today,” he said, though now he’d have to make good on that. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Dad’s…I don’t know. Dating a guy, I guess. He hasn’t told me much, just that he’s really into him and didn’t expect to be. Which maybe should be weirder since he was never gay…”

“He’s still not gay,” Ilan corrected absently. His mind was currently dealing with the sudden and stabbing pain of Fredric falling in love with someone else. “He’s bi.”

“Whatever,” she said, brushing him off. “I guess I’m just grateful he’s happy. He won’t even tell me this guy’s name, but I guess he makes Dad happy, so…”

“Hudson,” Ilan said, his voice cracking a little, and he cleared his throat to try again. “I think his name is Hudson. If it’s the same guy he was going out with the last time we talked. He’s a divorce attorney.”

“Jesus, that’s almost poetic,” she breathed out, then laughed. “That’s good though, right? I mean, have you met him? I just don’t want him making the same mistake twice.”

“I haven’t,” and god, he didn’t want to. Ever. “But I think you need to give him more credit. He was sixteen when he met your mom. We were all idiots at sixteen.”

She sighed. “Yeah, I know. I just…worry. I don’t want him to jump at the first person who pays him a compliment.”

“I don’t either,” Ilan said and meant that with every fiber of his being. And he also realized in that moment he couldn’t take more time away.