Love In Slow Motion (Love Beyond Measure #2) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,109

he had the opportunity to tell him the truth for days, and he didn’t,” Fredric reminded him. “All of that pain could have been avoided with a little trust and honesty.”

“This isn’t the same thing,” Ilan said, and his voice was harder and colder than Fredric had heard it in years. And it had never sounded like that directed at him.

He swallowed back his nerves, his ache to drop it and apologize and to make it better, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “No, it isn’t the same. Because we are his family, and we know better.”

Ilan let out a furious breath. “So, you’re saying…”

“I’m saying,” Fredric went on, because he was done letting people talk over him or speak for him. The words coming out of his mouth would be his own. “I’m saying that you need to decide if your feelings for me are worth more than your fear of Julian being angry.”

“This isn’t fair,” Ilan said after a long beat. “You can’t promise me time and patience and then give me this bullshit ultimatum.”

Fredric reached behind him for the counter, missed, and hit the searing hot roasting pan. When he heard Ilan make a soft noise and take a step forward, he grit his teeth and held his hand up. “Don’t. It’s just a burn. I’ve had worse.”

Scoffing, Ilan brushed past him, and a moment later, Fredric heard the faucet on. When he didn’t move, Ilan let out a growl and seized his arm, then pressed a wet, barely cool towel to his skin. “You need to lower the temperature of your skin so it doesn’t blister. You can be mad at me all you want, I’m still a fucking doctor.”

Fredric softened a little, but not enough, and he gently pulled away. “I’m not giving you an ultimatum, Ilan. I’m saying your fear is putting my relationship with my son at risk, and it’s unfair of you to ask me to keep lying to him. I made a promise to him to always be honest…and so did you.”

“So, what are you saying?” Ilan bit out. “We tell him now or it’s over?”

Fredric bristled. “It has never been that—it will never be that.” He ran his hand over his face, his frustration rising because Ilan wasn’t listening to him. “I care about you more than I can possibly say, but you can be incredibly selfish sometimes.”

“I see.” And Fredric winced, because Ilan’s tone was dead. Flat. He heard him take several steps back. “If that’s the way you want it…”

“I’m not going to be manipulated,” Fredric told him. “I’ve been through that enough already. I need…” The words were going to kill him, but he forced them out anyway. “I need you to go home.”

“Fine,” he said, and Fredric squeezed his eyes shut.

“We can talk in the morning.”

Ilan said nothing, and after a beat, Fredric heard the door shut. For a moment, he waited. He wanted that movie moment—the lightbulb moment. For Ilan’s love to push through all the ways he was being held back. He wanted him to burst through the door and rush in and kiss him until neither of them could breathe.

Instead, Fredric heard the car start up, and then back away, and he was left with an aching arm, a candle burning in the window, and absolute silence.

Chapter 24

Ilan ached from head to toe, his body dragging with fatigue. He used to thrive on sleepless nights—wandering the hospital halls with unnatural energy. But it wasn’t age dragging him down this time—it was guilt. It was the heavy weight of a long night forcing him to stare into the darkness and listen to the silence, knowing he’d fucked up.

He’d stormed out of Fredric’s with self-righteous indignation whispering in his ear that he was right—that Fredric was being unreasonable. That if he loved him, he’d see things Ilan’s way and understand why he couldn’t do this.

And then the emptiness of his home quieted that voice and forced him to see the reality of himself. He sat on his sofa, stared at the wall, and realized the one person he wanted to call about his aching heart was the reason why his heart was aching in the first place. Julian was his best friend—he’d seen him through every important moment in his life, and now his fear was shutting him out. He knew Fredric was right—Julian wouldn’t be angry about him falling in love with Fredric, he’d be angry that Ilan hid it for so