Love In Secrets (Love Distilled #3) - Scarlett Cole Page 0,72
flashed the screen in her direction. “Me. You're leaving me.”
Cassie sat up suddenly, her hand pushing her hair back off her face. “I was going to tell you later. I booked it this afternoon.”
Arguing with her about the timing of it wasn’t going to convince her to stay. “You don’t have to leave, Cassie. Look, I know we haven’t talked about it, but you can stay. Stay here, with me. The last five weeks with you here have been the best five weeks of my fucking life. And you told me your dad has offered you a job. You don’t even have a job to go back to.”
Cassie stepped out of bed without looking at him and in an automatic habit, she found the T-shirt he’d thrown off in his haste to get into bed, and put it back on. “Jake, don’t. Please. It’s hard enough.”
“Hard. How can it be hard? On one hand, you’ve got a happy life. You’ve got your family, your dad who is finally stepping up. You’ve got work. Your dad’s company isn’t exactly small-fry, and you’re making a huge impact. And don’t tell me you find it boring or too small or provincial, or whatever the hell narrative you tell yourself. Because I see you. See the way you talk about your day, all animated about the progress you’ve made.”
“Jake. I want something more from my career. I want huge projects. Skyscrapers, huge city infrastructure projects. Massive budgets, extensive crews. Complex moving pieces. And I want to be at the very heart of where it’s happening to gain the best experience, so I can open my own firm someday.”
“But you’ve got friends here. You can build a great life. You don’t need to live in a shoebox.”
“Jake,” Cassie shouted. “You aren’t listening to me.” She took a deep breath and sat next to him on the edge of the bed. “I know. Everything you’re saying, I’ve thought about. I’ve weighed the scales of stay versus go. And I’m not going to lie, it’s really freaking close. But I have a small window to make my career right. I can’t let The Grosvenor slip through my hands when it’s been everything I have worked so hard towards. Letting it go without a fight makes all those nights and sacrifices feel worthless. I need to prove to myself I can do it. I need you to understand.”
He reached for her hand as if holding on to her would physically make her stay. “What about us, Cass? On those scales you talked about, where do we fall?”
“Jake. You have been the best of all of this. If you’d have asked me last month whether I could have ever seen myself here, I would have said no. But nothing has changed from our very first conversation. You can’t leave, and I can’t stay.”
Jake studied her face. She looked so fucking beautiful with the moonlight highlighting her features. “Nothing has changed? I gave you my heart, Cassie. Irrevocably, I fear. Everything has changed for me.”
Cassie lowered her head. “I know,” she whispered. “I feel like I’m going to be leaving a part of my heart here with you when I go. I know it’s hard to understand. I know wanting a career often makes women unlikeable. I’m sorry I can’t just be a different kind of person and stay. And I’m heartbroken you can’t be a different kind of person and leave.”
He was desperate for her to throw him a crumb. To suggest she’d be open to a long-distance relationship for now. Or maybe, she’d ask for six months in New York and see if she could make it work again, and if not, she’d come back to him.
He’d wait.
It wouldn’t be hard.
Perhaps they could stay in touch.
“I leave on Saturday,” she said. “In the morning. I can get myself to the airport.”
Yeah, no fucking crumbs. He loved her and it wasn’t enough. On her fucking scales, it didn’t carry enough weight to tip them in his favor.
He should get up. He should walk out of his bedroom, drive over to Em’s and stay there until she left. Let the process of healing the cracks in his heart start rather than prolong the agony and make it worse.
But even as he had those thoughts, he reached for her chin and tilted her head so she was looking at him. Gently, he placed his lips on hers, inhaling the sob that escaped her.