Love In Secrets (Love Distilled #3) - Scarlett Cole Page 0,35
obviously helped Olivia. Who’s been looking out for you, Jake?”
“I’m doing fine.”
Am I?
“Are you?”
The echo of his thoughts startled him. “Honestly, I haven’t allowed myself to think about it. I wake up and figure out what we need to do to get us through the day and go do it. When I get home, I’m tired. Sometimes I catch up with some friends on a Sunday, when I try to only work a half day.”
Cassie nudged her shoulder against his. “That doesn’t sound like fine, Jake. It sounds like making it through.”
“You do what you’ve got to do. That’s what you’re doing, right? And do I get mad occasionally? Yeah, sure I do. Do I wish the events hall hadn’t been ruined by the storm? Am I angry at Dad because he was so against capital investment? Am I angry a baying mob of assholes meant we had to spend a quarter of a million dollars that would have gone a long way to getting us out of the situation we found ourselves in? Yes. To all of the above. But I can’t change what happened. I can only figure out how we move forward.”
“Perhaps. But sometimes what feels like moving forward is actually standing still. It’s like a weird sleight of hand, because it takes so much energy to stay in one place, but it’s still inertia.”
Why did this resonate so hard? Why did his chest feel like a still, packed with liquid and gas under pressure, close to boiling point?
Cassie discreetly placed her hand on his knee, and he could feel the warmth of her palm through the well-worn denim.
“I see you, Jake,” she whispered.
Those four words meant more than what anyone had said to him in years.
Fuck. He stood abruptly, Cassie’s hand sliding off his knee as he did so. “I need another beer; can I get you anything?”
The trace of hurt he saw in Cassie’s eyes did nothing to quell the fucking roller coaster he was on internally.
“I’m good. Thanks.”
With a nod, he strode through the garden, up the steps, and into the kitchen where he threw his plate down on the counter. Laughter and voices from outside drifted through the open window as he reached into the fridge, grabbed a beer, popped the cap and took a long deep draw on the bottle.
I see you, Jake.
He rubbed his hand around the back of his neck and wondered exactly what it was she saw.
Cassie loaded the dishwasher with the last of the glasses and cutlery while Jake turned the outdoor lights off. He’d been quiet, subdued even, after they’d talked, and Cassie wasn’t able to figure out what of the things she’d said had upset him.
But whatever it was, she wanted to apologize.
It hadn’t been her intention to hurt his feelings, especially after he had been so good to her.
Spending time with Liv and Em and Jake and all their friends had been the boost she’d needed, even though she hadn’t felt like it before it occurred. It had made her miss Orla and their circle of friends in New York. But remarkably, she hadn’t thought about her dad or Elijah in a couple of hours.
“All done?” Jake asked as he walked into the kitchen, before leaning against the sink with his arms folded.
She tore her eyes away from the fit of his black T-shirt and his biceps, and busied herself, putting a dishwasher tab in the slot. Once done, she turned it on and closed the door. “Yes. Can I talk to you for a sec?”
Jake didn’t move. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I obviously said something outside that upset you. I’m really sorry.”
Jake sighed, uncrossed his arms and reached for her, tugging her softly until she stood between his legs, her hands in his. “You didn’t upset me. You gave me stuff to think about. Stuff I probably should have thought about myself before now but hadn’t.”
His thumbs rubbed over her skin, his callouses rough and thrilling. “Like what?”
“I looked up what the word inertia means. It means something continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force. I’m on a uniform straight line, Cass. And I’ll keep going that way unless something knocks me off it.”
She stepped closer, and his hands released hers to slip around her waist and rest against her lower back. “Does it have to be something? Or could it be someone?”