my parents’ ceiling. ‘Yep okay, turn your phone round so the screen is facing you.’ The image spins around and shows me the floor and the dog, Max.
‘Hi Max,’ I say, pleased to see him. He wags his frondy tail and then runs to the door and scratches it with his paw, obviously expecting me to arrive. Even the dog’s confused. ‘Dad, can you hear me?’ I try.
‘Yes,’ he says, but he sounds distant. I now have a close-up of his ear.
‘Dad – you need to hold it out in front of you. Yes that’s it.’ I can now see him. He looks well, I’m relieved to see. ‘Now I can see you.’
‘Good grief; what on earth have you done to yourself?’
My hand involuntarily goes to the tufty half of my head. ‘Shaving malfunction.’
‘You should borrow mine. Don’t want one of these new-fangled things.’
‘Very kind but Sam’s ordered me a new one.’
‘Thank goodness someone’s got some sense. Reminds me of that time your mother decided I should cut your hair because we hadn’t had a chance to take you to the barber’s.’ He studies me on the screen. ‘I suppose it’s got a certain je ne sais quoi.’
‘Yeah ha-ha.’ I start to try to explain how he can show me the computer, so that we can end this madness, when the line goes dead. I decide to take the opportunity to check if Sophia’s outside with the shopping. I’m on my way to the door when the phone goes again. I ignore it. I can phone him back in a second. But now the landline is going too. Oh, for goodness’ sake.
I answer the landline, thinking it could be the hospital. ‘There you are! Your mother was worried.’
‘But I was only talking to you a moment ago,’ I protest. ‘Why were you ringing my mobile as well?’
‘That was your mother. We thought if we both phoned you, you’d have to answer one of them.’
My parents. I love them, but honestly they are a nightmare. I painstakingly sort out the problem with the email and Dad manages to send it to the right address, thus ending a simple issue that just swallowed ten minutes of both our lives.
As soon as we’re done, I rush to the door, hoping Sophia hasn’t dropped the shopping yet. How ironic. I’ve gone from desperately wanting food at all costs, to hoping it isn’t there because I want to catch a glimpse of the girl I’ve been talking to. Just to put a face to a name, of course. Weird, but right now company has become more important than food. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to, other than Sam and my parents, that is. There’s nothing more to it than that. I’ve also hidden my extremely dodgy haircut under a beanie. I really can’t face Sophia seeing how bad it looks in reality.
Holding my breath, I open the door to see three bags full of shopping. I sigh and wander back into the flat for my attractive plastic gloves before returning suitably armed to bring the shopping in. The door downstairs squeaks provocatively and I wait a moment, ever hopeful, but the silence confirms no one is coming up. I must have just missed her.
Later, having checked the balcony a few times, I hear Sophia downstairs laughing at something and I peer over, in case she is on her way out for one of our now-regular evening chats. ‘Hello?’ I call softly.
There’s no reply but I can still hear Sophia talking so I assume she must be with Erica. I’d like to thank her for doing the shopping. She’s even included Haribo Starmix, which I didn’t order, but she knows I really like. I wonder if she might like to try the new cocktail I’ve been working on, as a thank you, and I hover around in the hope she appears.
Then I remember – she said tonight was her date with that guy. Ben, I think his name was. I wonder how it’s going. Not that it matters; it’s just that I’d really like her to meet someone nice. She deserves it, and it doesn’t sound as though she has had much luck with guys. I also get the impression the guy she broke up with after a long-term relationship really hurt her, though she noticeably hasn’t talked about him at all.
I can just make out a couple of words. She’s doing that thing people do on Zoom where they semi-shout, as though