Love at the Little Wedding Shop by the Sea - Jane Linfoot Page 0,139
lip. ‘Doing Pixie’s wedding was the first time since her accident that I’d done something truly positive. You were the catalyst to me doing that. I didn’t realise it at the time, but just being around you and working with you changed my thought processes. I assumed I’d take myself off afterwards and find my same old refuge of negativity, that if I denied my feelings for you, buried them deep enough, I could carry on with life as it used to be. But I couldn’t. The new version of Nic ran away. But he couldn’t go back to being how he was before.’
As he stops and gazes out to sea, staring at the pale horizon, his voice is low. ‘There’s a lot of time to think when you sail. There were a couple of other big problems I hadn’t foreseen, too.’ He turns to meet my eye. ‘First was how much I missed you. And then there was your mum …’
My eyes pop open. ‘My mum?’
He nods slowly. ‘Everywhere we went, she was up there, looking down at me from her cloud. She just kept telling me over and over again not to throw my life away.’
I’m swallowing back my tears. ‘But you were unplugged on the Great Barrier Reef. Wasn’t that enough for her?’
He shrugs. ‘Apparently not. Not compared to the size of the love I was walking away from.’
I’m sniffing and apologising at the same time. ‘She can be very persistent if there’s something she doesn’t approve of; she does the same to me. It’s just strange that she’s doing it to you.’
He’s staring at the water. ‘That night on the beach, you put the idea of your mum in my head. And I knew what she’d said was so true. For the first time in four years I didn’t feel guilty about Pixie. I was feeling guilty for everything I wasn’t making the most of.’
He’s rubbing his jaw with his thumb now, looking at me quizzically. ‘I told you at the castle that I’d fallen in love with you, didn’t I? I know those feelings might be very one-sided. But now I’ve finally come to my senses, I realise that’s too important to ignore – I’ve got to put every bit of my effort in and try to make you love me too. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this, but now that I’m in love with you I see that you and your mum are completely right. I can’t run away, I’ve got to fight for you. I’m hoping that now I’ve shaken myself up, I might be good enough for you too. Because I certainly couldn’t want you any more than I do.’
I’m gulping so hard I can’t actually get any words out.
He’s turning to me with a wistful smile. ‘So that’s what I’ve come here to do – to work until I’m good enough to deserve your love.’
All I can do is dissolve into my sleeve. I manage to stretch out a hand and grasp his.
He gives a sigh. ‘And this time, as I sailed back down the coast, there was one thought guiding me home. On the beach when I told you I loved you for the last time, you said “back at you”.’ He’s looking at me through narrowed eyes. ‘You did say “back at you”, didn’t you?’
I’m mumbling my excuses into my sleeve. ‘It’s thirty-seven days ago now … that’s quite a long time to remember …’
He’s scrutinising my face. ‘When Pixie rang to give me a bollocking, she also said she heard you crying before you left.’ He leaves a pause. ‘Inconsolably. So I do have a vague idea … you wouldn’t have been that upset if you hadn’t cared.’
And finally, I decide it’s time to own it. ‘Actually, I did cry … and I did say that …’
His lips twist for a second, then he looks serious again. ‘But did you mean it? And if you did, how the hell have I missed it? I mean, if you loved me too, how did I not know?’
‘Where do you want me to begin?’
He gives a low laugh. ‘I actually fell in love with you way before the Valentine’s cocktails. Even before the kiss through your van window.’
‘Really?’ I’m blinking at him. ‘So it wasn’t my Love Potion No. 9 or my arrow?’
‘Nope.’ He’s shaking his head. ‘When the fireworks were on I was leaning on my mast, and I looked across and saw you crying. All