Love at the Little Wedding Shop by the Sea - Jane Linfoot Page 0,106
for myself.’
Nic shakes his head. ‘Be honest, it was never going to work with contagion man was it?’
I watch the foamy wiggle of the tide rushing up the sand and pulling back again, and decide. I’m not hiding it from him. ‘We got engaged before we really knew each other. We even bought a flat, but in five whole years of looking he’d never settle on a wedding venue.’ When I used to tell people, it came out as a pathetic wail. This time it feels more like I’m claiming my badge of honour for coming out the other side. ‘That’s going to be my claim to comic fame forever.’
Nic’s wrinkling his nose. ‘Oh, Milla Vanilla, that explains why you’re such an expert on venues.’ His eyes narrow. ‘But then think what a life of hell he saved you from – by not getting married.’ And he has got a point.
‘On the upside, Phoebe’s got all that to look forward to.’ This has to be the first time I’ve laughed about it.
He blows his cheeks out. ‘What I can’t work out is how you got involved with a taker like her in the first place?’
‘She was my boss when we worked at Costa.’
Nic shakes his head. ‘I bet she made the most of making you feel small there too?’
I can’t believe how right he is. ‘I had a bit of money my mum had left me, and my camper van and I suppose she picked up on that and became a bit of a limpet bestie.’ I’m under no illusions now that if she hadn’t accidentally found out about my cash by peering over my shoulder when I was checking my bank balance at the cash machine, she wouldn’t have noticed I existed. I shrug because I have to face facts here. ‘Since I’ve been doing Brides Go West on my own, I’ve got a whole new respect for what she did as a frontperson. I mean, I’ve worked my bum off and I still haven’t had a trouble-free fair. It’s damned hard making everyone do what you want and keeping everybody happy. When she wafted about making it look effortless, she must have been nailing it.’
Nic’s staring at me. ‘But you’re so much better at it than she could ever be. People know the difference – you genuinely care. She doesn’t even bother to fake it.’
I have to laugh. ‘Maybe you’re just blinded by your dislike of Phoebe. If I hadn’t had my assets, she’d have been best friends with someone else. But it’s fine. It really hit home when Phoebe turned up at the fair. I’m back with people who love and look out for me. It’s time to let go of the bad stuff and move forwards.’ I can’t hold back my smile. ‘Seeing Ben and Phoebe floundering in the pond water at the wedding fair, they didn’t feel like part of my life at all. And as I watched them walking away with Hunter’s pram, I didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t even jealous. I just had a huge sense of relief that I don’t have to deal with them anymore. They’re welcome to each other, their life, and their giant baby. It’s as though these last few months have truly set me free.’
‘Being ready to let go of the past is a huge achievement. Believe me, I know, you can’t get on with your life until you have.’ His sigh is heartfelt, and when he gazes out to sea his eyes are far away. And the silence he drifts into isn’t the sort I’d intrude on.
Which leaves me back in my own head, remembering what Poppy said about me moving on that first night in St Aidan. I’m probably still light years away from that, but just to try it out, I take a sideways glance at Nic.
I know the wedding fair kiss with Nic was pretty full-on. And I completely accept he never intends to get tied down. But if Nic were the one I moved on with, how awkward would it feel bumping into him down at the quayside if the last time he saw me I’d been naked and groaning in his bed? It’s a million times worse than him knowing I wear pants with kitten prints on. But looking at him now, it’s hard to imagine ever finding someone who smells as nice and looks as nice and makes my tummy flip or my blood rush like he does.