can manage the burden because they know their girls are as horny as hell and they are going to get rewarded with the best sex ever tonight. Who the hell cares if it is displacement sex as long as it’s good displacement sex?
While Ben is distracted by the gig and the cute blond guy sat next to him, Jess grills me.
‘So where’ve you been all day?’ she asks.
‘With him.’ I point over the heads of ninety thousand and towards the stage.
‘Have you shagged him yet?’ she asks.
‘No.’ I want to sound outraged. Me? Shag a man when I (technically) have a boyfriend? Unfortunately, I think I just sound regretful.
‘Why not?’ asks Jess.
‘No opportunity,’ I admit with more honesty than I’d been intending.
Jess raises her eyebrow. ‘So nothing to do with the fact that it would break Adam’s heart then?’ she asks wryly.
I turn to my best pal. I’ve known Jess for years. I’ve never lied to her. I’m not going to start doing so now, I don’t even want to. I want to tell her the tremendous truth.
‘I think I’m in love with Scott,’ I gush.
‘You daft cow.’ She splutters her beer down the back of the girl in front. The girl doesn’t seem to notice, as she’s so engrossed in the lyrics of ‘Hate to Love You’.
‘No, seriously, I am.’ I’m a bit frustrated that she’s laughing so much beer is coming out of her nose now.
‘You and everyone else, sister. Take a look around you.’
‘But I’m different from them,’ I insist.
‘Not to him,’ she says calmly.
‘I am. I know him. He talks to me.’
‘Of course it’s attractive,’ she says more patiently. ‘He’s a rock star. He’s oozing success and power.’
‘That alone I could have walked away from. He’s more than that. Much more than that to me.’
‘And Adam?’
Right now, Adam’s name is not synonymous with success and power. Or happiness. Or even sexual attraction. All I can say to Jess is, ‘He’s hanging on by a thread called loyalty.’
‘You need to talk to Adam. You need to tell him how you feel.’
‘Or more accurately how I no longer feel.’
‘Be careful, Fern,’ says Jess. ‘Don’t throw away a good man for a fantasy.’
‘I keep telling you, Jess, what we have feels very real. I know it’s hard to digest and accept but I’m sure he likes me.’
Jess turns back to the stage, just as Scott picks out a young girl from the audience and pulls her on to the stage. He folds her in his arms and I watch as the skinny brunette melts. The crowd goes wild as he sings the romantic lyrics, ‘Come Back to Me’, to this fortunate. Every one of the ninety thousand hates and envies the girl he’s picked out but they love him all the more for making her dream come true. It’s clear from her closed-eyed look of absolute contentment that the girl in Scott’s arms is entirely unaware of anyone other than him. Jess watches me. I shrug.
‘It’s part of the act. He did the same thing last night,’ I point out.
‘It’s all an act with him,’ says Jess. ‘It’s not even his fault. It has to be like that.’
The girl he’s singing to touches his bum – cheeky bint. I swallow hard as I know, from the gig last night, the next thing he does is kiss the girl – a full-on lipsmacker. Yesterday, I’d watched with curiosity, I’d shared the heightening sexual tension that sluiced the stadium; today something in my stomach contracts with anxiety. I wonder how old the girl is? Young. Early twenties. A lot younger than me.
Scott quickly kisses the girl on the forehead and then releases her. I swear his eyes flick in my direction. I might be mistaken; the gesture was too brief for me to be certain, but… I stare at Jess to see if she’s also spotted the change in his gig routine and whether she’s drawn the same conclusions as me.
She gawks back at me, open-mouthed. ‘Bloody hell,’ she mutters, shaking her head with disbelief. ‘I think you might be right. He might like you. I don’t know if that’s good or bad news.’
‘Don’t be an arse, Jess. If he likes me, how can it be anything other than good news?’ I reply. I’m getting more than a little fed up with her gallons of cold water. I’d expect Lisa to preach caution and care but I thought I’d have one hundred per cent support from Jess. Jess does reckless and