Love on Lexington Avenue - Lauren Layne Page 0,80

darted back to hers. “No. That’s not what I meant.”

“Scott.” Claire swallowed and forged ahead, heart in her throat.

This was hard. And a little awful. But Claire pressed ahead anyway. She’d been in love once and lost it. And it had sucked. She was in love again, and she knew that loving and not even trying would be so much worse.

“Scott.” Her voice broke. “I think I—”

“I’m going to Shanghai,” he interrupted shortly.

Claire’s breath whooshed out. “Shanghai? China? Why?” Then it clicked into place. “Your next job.”

He took a step forward, his motions a little jerky, his eyes pleading. “It’s a big one. A new hotel. The plans have it being the tallest in the world when it’s done. It’s got an indoor waterfall, rooftop infinity pool—it’s a demanding as hell challenge.”

“Well, of course you have to do it,” Claire said, her voice a little shaky with shock.

He exhaled. “Yeah?”

“Of course,” she said with a smile that she knew wobbled. “You have to know—I’d never expect you not to chase your dreams. I know you’d never tell me not to chase mine.”

“Never,” he agreed.

What if you’re my dream?

Even as Claire’s thoughts spiraled, she still clung to hope. He was leaving, yes, but not forever. He still lived here; people did long distance all the time.

“So, how long?” she asked.

“A year. Maybe a little longer.”

Claire’s heart dropped to her feet. “A year? That’s— Do you come back at all? Like . . . weekends?” she finished, hating how lame and pathetic this was making her feel.

He shoved his hands into his pockets. “It doesn’t really work that way. I can get a weekend off here and there . . .”

Her heart couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t handle the not knowing.

“Scott. Just tell me,” she said, her voice surprisingly calm. “If you tell me to wait, I will. But you have to tell me. You have to ask. That’s all you have to do. We can figure everything else out. Later.”

Scott made a harsh exhaling noise, as though she’d knocked the wind out of him.

“Just ask,” she whispered; this time it was a plea. I’m not your mom. I’m not Meredith any more than you are Brayden. You can count on me.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them, she knew. She knew and felt as though her heart had been cleaved in half.

“Don’t wait,” he said hoarsely. “Don’t wait, Claire.”

She stood still, even as she felt a little dizzy with the pain of it. Somehow though, she held herself upright, kept her eyes dry. Claire had learned she was a survivor.

She’d survive this, too.

“Got it,” she said, her voice light but sure. “Understood.”

“Claire—”

“What about Bob?” she broke in. “Can I at least have her?”

She smiled a little, and Scott blinked, clearly surprised at the abrupt shift in conversation. Probably a little relieved, too. He looked tired, almost boyish, his shoulders hunched forward. “In hindsight, it was selfish to get a dog with my job. I don’t know why I did it with my schedule . . .”

It’s because you wanted somebody to love—and somebody to love you back, you big oaf.

But that wasn’t the type of thing you could teach someone. They had to figure it out on their own, and Scott wasn’t there. At least not with her.

He glanced up, looking like himself once more, a little distant and completely in control. “I can’t ask you to watch my dog.”

“You didn’t,” she argued. “I asked you. I want to. Really. Please.”

Scott searched her face for a long minute, then finally nodded. “Thank you. I’d rather leave Bob with you than anyone else.”

Any other time, Claire might have warmed to the compliment. In light of the fact that she’d just handed over her heart only to have it handed right back, her responding smile felt a little plastic.

“When do you leave? How much time do I have to find Bobsie a proper dog bed? That ugly yellow one you have is all wrong for her fur. Pink would work so much better. Or green.” She expected a smile, but she didn’t get one.

“Tuesday,” he replied.

“Tuesday,” she repeated. “As in five days from today?”

He nodded. “It may not be much of a consolation, but I just found that out this morning. In fact, I just committed this morning. But these things move fast.”

He was right. It wasn’t much of a consolation.

She inhaled. “All right. Keep me in the loop about logistics. I can come pick Bob up