And there. There was the real issue, because Wilder had loved what they’d done so far—loved Lorenzo’s soft careful way of handling him and loved how he didn’t push for more and didn’t use the phrase, ‘when you’re ready.’ He acted like Wilder’s boundaries were permanent, and it was…
Perfect. Too perfect.
It had to be too good to be true, because no one would ever stay that patient. Lorenzo didn’t have the same kind of trauma, and eventually, he’d get bored with over the clothes frotting, or hand-jobs, or however close Wilder could get to the things most people wanted.
But Wilder wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready for anything more than that.
He hadn’t liked penetration before Scott, and when he was with him, he hadn’t been given a lot of say in the matter. And now, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to open himself that way. So why would Lorenzo want to stay with that mess, no matter how they felt about each other?
Relationships fell apart for smaller things than that—and to assume a man who wasn’t from here—and didn’t entirely belong in a small life like this—would compromise all of that? Just for him?
It was laughable.
“I fucked up,” Theo said. “I can see your face. Please don’t do this. Please don’t panic and run.”
Wilder looked over again, and this time, Lorenzo’s gaze met him through the crowd, and his mouth softened into a grin before he lifted a hand to wave. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, and he meant it. If there was a coffin, he wouldn’t be the one nailing it shut. He would just prepare himself for when the hammer fell. “I don’t think I love him.”
“Yet,” Theo pressed.
“I don’t know if I’ll have time for that. He’s not staying.”
He didn’t know what Lorenzo’s plans were. He had a few weeks left booked at the Manor, and the future after that was just an abstract idea. Lorenzo wasn’t much of a planner, from what Wilder could tell. It almost seemed like they were simply making the best out of their ticking clock before the bomb went off and blew them to pieces.
It would be glorious and painful, and he wouldn’t regret a thing.
Lorenzo’s conversation ended, and Theo hopped the table and made it around the corner before Lorenzo took his place, squeezing in beside the tent wall. He had a couple of bags hooked on his arm, and he let them fall to the ground before he reached for Wilder, then froze.
‘Sorry,’ he signed.
Wilder frowned. ‘What? Why?’
‘Public.’ Lorenzo spelled the word slowly, his face a mask of worry, and it took Wilder a second to realize what he meant.
“I don’t…oh my god,” said, then lifted his hands, feeling them tremble with both frustration and want. ‘I don’t care if people see you with me. Come here and kiss me.’
Lorenzo licked his lips, and then he erased the distance between them in two long strides and had both hands cupping Wilder’s face as he pressed their lips together. It had the breath of desperation, but Lorenzo kept it chaste and easy, pulling back with three soft pecks to his chin. “Thank you,” he said.
Wilder squeezed his wrists, then stepped out of his grasp for signing space. ‘You’re beautiful. I will never be ashamed of you. Of this.’
Swallowing thickly, Lorenzo rubbed the back of his neck, then gestured to a customer who approached. Wilder went back into business mode, and Lorenzo busied himself with his phone as he sat in the corner of the tent. It was hardly the most romantic date, but later, they got kettle corn and a funnel cake, and Lorenzo licked powdered sugar from the corner of Wilder’s mouth, and they bought another scarf from Fitz, who again refused to let Lorenzo pay, and he picked up an abstract alcohol ink canvas painting from Greyson before the night was through.
It was the best night at the Market Wilder had ever had. He didn’t know what it really meant—or what it would mean for the future, but he was happy.
‘Come back to my place?’ Lorenzo asked at the end of the night as they stood on a dark street corner, watching the way the Market emptied, and everyone made their way home. They kept their palms pressed together, and Lorenzo was more relaxed than Wilder had ever seen him.
“I actually have people working on my apartment right now,” he said with a small grin, “and I was going to stay