Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,95

little out of the fear that hit him again just remembering the things Eric told him. ‘Eric was making sense. He knew all the things I was afraid of.’

Rocco lifted a brow. ‘Tell me.’

The last thing in the world Simon wanted was to look Rocco in the eyes as he signed all this, but he owed this man the truth. ‘I’m a nobody. I’m a small-town nobody that caught your eye on a vulnerable day. You wanted a distraction while things in your life got sorted out, then you’d go back home to your big life with all your famous friends and I’d still be here thinking I meant something to you.’

‘Simon.’ His name sign hadn’t changed, and Simon’s heart thudded in his chest.

‘I know it’s not true, but in that moment…’ Simon stopped and stared at his hands—at the flecks of dried dough stuck to his skin, at the way none of his body was shapely or fit—and Rocco loved him anyway. Rocco wanted him, just like this. ‘He laughed at me because I can’t sign Deaf speed…’

‘Yet,’ Rocco spelled, making sure Simon understood. ‘You don’t sign Deaf speed yet.’

Simon nodded. ‘I hope. But he…he laughed. He said you do this. He said you took some twink to the Caribbean when you broke up the last time, then you came home and bought him a car and begged him never to leave.’

Rocco rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it hurt. ‘I took our friend who had just finished his last round of chemo. Eric was supposed to come with, but he thought the islands weren’t going to have all his usual comforts. We fought, and I left without him.’

‘Did you beg him to stay?’ Simon asked, though he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.

Rocco shrugged. ‘Maybe. Our relationship was toxic, and I was shallow. I didn’t want things to change because I didn’t want to deal with change. This isn’t like that.’

Simon bowed his head, breathing steady, and nodded. He stayed that way a minute, until Rocco hooked a finger under his chin and drew up his gaze, and Simon found he never wanted to look away. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t just talk to you. I just…I thought he was right. How else would he know where to find you?’

Rocco’s expression went stormy as he pulled his hand back. ‘Xander, my agent—ex agent—still had access to my email accounts. He saw when I made our account on SinSity and he tracked you through Twitter. He was trying to sue me for rights to our videos, but because he was no longer my contracted agent, there’s going to be a countersuit.’

Simon’s eyes widened. ‘Seriously.’

Rocco’s expression didn’t lighten. ‘Yes. And one against Eric. He had no right to come here, no right to harass you. He was hired in a professional capacity, and using my personal information to aid Xander—he’s not going to get away with it. I’m just sorry they put you through it.’

‘Are they going to leak my name?’ Simon asked.

Rocco heaved a sigh. ‘They might. I don’t know. We don’t have to post the videos. We can find another way.’

Simon bit his lip and considered it—because it was a lot. He’d gone from someone who wouldn’t leave the storefront to filming amateur porn—and it was likely some of the town would see it. He’d have to tell his brother so Levi wouldn’t stumble on it. He’d have to…come clean, if people asked.

Because even if Eric or Xander didn’t release his name, eventually people would know it was Rocco—and then they’d know it was him.

‘I want to do it,’ Simon told him. ‘I want to have a therapist to help with my anxiety, but I want to do it.’

‘Do you still want to fuck me?’ Rocco asked him, and Simon blushed furiously.

But he didn’t look away. ‘Yes. And…and it can show my face. Our faces.’

Rocco looked mildly surprised. ‘You don’t need to do that.’

Simon felt oddly emboldened, and he shifted closer, letting their legs tangle. ‘I want the world to see your face when I sink inside you.’

Breath coming out in a hard rush, Rocco licked his lips and leaned in. ‘Yes,’ he signed, a nod of his fist.

Simon grinned. ‘Good. Now kiss me.’

It was an order Rocco was happy to follow.

That Shabbat passed in the same comfort it had the week before. They didn’t talk about the videos that were still with the editor, they didn’t talk about work, or about Eric, or about Simon’s anxiety.