Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,53
then cleared his throat. His eyes held a gleam of mischief, and Simon knew this wasn’t the last he’d hear of what his brother had just walked in on. “I brought over some stuff from the truck that didn’t sell last night. I left it in the kitchen downstairs and wanted to let you know I was ready to come back to work. At least for prep.”
Simon glanced at Rocco who was clearly not following Levi’s cadence of speech, so he quickly interpreted before answering his brother, first in speech, then in sign. “Actually, I was going to call you to see if you could handle prep tonight.”
Rocco stood up and turned to Simon, laying a hand on his cheek, touching the edge of his mouth with his thumb. ‘I’m going to walk James.’
Simon nodded. ‘Okay. Sorry, he doesn’t normally burst in here like that.’ It was a half-lie, because Levi did have a habit of bursting in, trying to bust Simon not following his own, ridged rules.
Rocco quickly snapped his fingers for James, and the pup came to attention, primly turning so Rocco could attach the leash. ‘Nice to see you again,’ he signed to Levi, then headed out the door.
When it was shut, Levi turned to his brother with a sigh. “I have to learn ASL now, don’t I?”
Simon bit his lip as he shrugged. “I guess you don’t have to, but…”
“Is he sticking around?” Levi gave the armchair a dubious look.
“For fuck’s sake, we didn’t have sex in it,” Simon groused.
“Have you had sex at all?” Levi sank down, but kept to the edge of it like he didn’t believe him.
Simon looked down at his hands. “It’s not exactly your business, but no.”
“No, or not yet?” Levi pressed. “He’s a porn star, Si. He’s not going to be into this cute virgin act forever.”
Simon fixed his brother with a hard stare. “Are you trying to hurt me on purpose?”
Levi opened his mouth, then closed it again with a heavy breath. “No, sorry. I’m really not. It’s just old habits, you know?”
Simon did know, but he hated that sharp words and cruelty were the most ingrained habits between them. “I like him. And I don’t know if he’s going to stick around. I hope so, but it’s new, and it doesn’t feel right to put that kind of pressure on him with everything he’s going through.”
“Yeah, I saw,” Levi sighed out, and it didn’t surprise Simon that he’d gone snooping. “That’s a huge pile of bullshit.” He stared down at his hands, flexed his fingers, made a few nonsense shapes with them. “Is sign language hard?”
“Yes,” Simon told him, because he wasn’t about to lie. “It’s just like any other language.”
Levi picked at the edge of his nail, then put his hands back in his lap. “Is he worth it?”
“I don’t know.” It was the most honest answer he could give. “I think being in customer service, it’s a good language to learn. You never know who might need it.” He swallowed thickly, then said, “I hope he is.”
At his quiet statement—raw with truth and fear—Levi looked up at him. His eyes were softer than usual, his tone quieter when he spoke. “I hope so too. And I’ll take prep tonight. Do you want me to open the store tomorrow?”
Simon opened his mouth to tell Levi no, to tell him it wasn’t his responsibility any longer, but he knew that wasn’t the case. He’d been working hard and standing in Levi’s way to protect him from the truth. Levi knew the bakery was in trouble, but he never knew how badly. He knew Simon was giving up his life to try and make this work, but he didn’t know it was because the bakery wasn’t left to the both of them—it was Simon’s alone.
Because Bubbe believed Simon could shoulder the pain of debt and loss better than Levi could. Simon had a moment of anger—of desperation, of wanting someone to go soft on him just because. Everyone in his family had laid their problems on his shoulders because he had been strong enough to take it—but he didn’t always want to be strong.
Sometimes he wanted to be able to break under Levi’s anger, under his mother’s refusal to live for her children, under Bubbe’s suffocating care.
He knew he never would—not now, not after this long, but he was tired.
“I wouldn’t mind a day off,” he admitted. “Will your truck do alright?”