Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,44

But I’ve been doing this for so fucking long now, I don’t know how to stop.” He only realized his hands were in fists when his knuckles began to ache, and he forced himself to uncurl his fingers. “I probably need a therapist. And…and I need to trust that Levi can take care of himself. He’s done well so far.”

“He seems happy. And therapy is good. I had a good one after my divorce. I didn’t go long—just enough time to get my head back on straight.”

Simon glanced over and saw actual kindness in Collin’s eyes—not pity. “I’m afraid once Rocco knows what an actual mess I am, he’ll end things. Which is stupid. I barely know him.”

Collin laughed and shook his head, hanging his hands between his knees as he leaned forward and looked at Simon. “I fell in love over a two-day river rafting excursion where two men were trapped in my cabin when a storm hit.”

Simon’s eyes widened. He knew the way Collin, Max, and Spencer had fallen in love was unconventional, but he hadn’t realized how unconventional. “Were they already together?”

Collin laughed. “No. They were strangers who instantly hated each other—and then they didn’t. They burst into my life when I needed them the most. I was closing down my dad’s legacy, I was divorced, I had buried my father a year before that—I’d no idea what I wanted in life. All I had was a small parcel of land and a herd of goats.” Collin smiled wistfully. “I didn’t keep all the goats, or the land, but in exchange I got two men who I will love for the rest of my life.”

“And a herd of cats,” Simon offered.

Collin laughed, shaking his head. “And the sodding cats. And the duck, and our four bloody goats. And two men who love me back just as much as I love them. People will always tell you not to rush. They’ll tell you to be careful, that love at first sight doesn’t exist. They’ll tell you that there’s a correct way to fall for someone—but they’re not always right. Sometimes, mate, you really do know when you know.”

Simon was warm all over, soft inside, and desperate for Rocco. Rocco had offered out his hand, and Simon wanted to take it. More than just for filming—though he didn’t know that he wanted to reject that idea either, but he needed more. He needed to know Rocco would be willing to give him something beyond those moments together on camera.

“This helped,” Simon told him.

Collin grinned widely. “Good.”

“I should, um,” Simon nodded toward the door, and Collin rose, following him out and not saying anything until they reached his car.

“Promise me you’ll be back. For proper dinner,” Collin ordered, and Simon laughed.

“I will.”

“No more hiding?” Collin pressed.

Simon took Collin’s arm by the wrist and squeezed. “No more hiding. I’ll bring Rocco.”

“I’ll look up some sign language videos,” Collin vowed.

Simon grinned widely, then got in his car. Starting it this time, pulling onto the main road and heading back into town—it didn’t feel as awful. He had a few hours to sort this out, and he was ready.

He pulled into the Lodge parking lot and parked his car next to Rocco’s sporty one, locking up before he glanced down at his phone. He wasn’t sure if he was breaking rules or not, but he needed this to be a surprise, so he let himself into the lobby and he came to a skidding halt when he found Levi and James behind the front desk.

James’ eyes narrowed, but Levi’s went wide, and they both said nothing until Simon laid his hands on the counter and cleared his throat. “I need Rocco’s room number.”

There was a gleam in Levi’s eyes that Simon didn’t entirely love, but he was done hiding. “James?” Levi asked over his shoulder.

James was pink in the cheeks, and he looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. He tapped on the computer, then scribbled the number down on the post-it. “You had better not breathe a word to anyone about this. Especially not Charlie.”

Simon put his hand over his heart. “I swear. And…thanks?”

“Good luck, Si,” Levi called after him as he started to walk away. His heart was in his throat, but he was ready.

It felt like an eternity before he was standing in front of the ground floor room. He could smell chlorine from somewhere, and he heard people talking a few doors down. He poised his fist