Love Him Desperate (On the Market #5) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,52

closet, with the desk crammed in the corner, papers everywhere, and books stacked on the shelves with no apparent order. Dmitri didn’t love how chaotic it was, but Rian seemed in his element, and there was some comfort in that.

He cleared his throat and sank into his chair, letting his bag drop to his feet. “So. Hi.”

Rian’s smile was a little tense as he rolled back in his chair until it hit the wall. He looked nervous, and Dmitri’s heart beat rapidly against the inside of his ribs. “This is possibly the most unprofessional conversation I’ve ever had. I like my students, and I like being friendly with them, but I try not to cross lines.”

Dmitri blinked. “Oh. Uh.”

“So I’m not going to ask you to not report me, but it would be nice if you didn’t,” Rian went on.

Dmitri’s entire person froze. Was he…did he like Dmitri? He couldn’t begin to believe that was possible, but…

“I like your friend. Raphael.”

Dmitri felt like his soul was made of glass, and Rian had just taken a tiny hammer, shattering it into spiderweb cracks. His throat went dry, and his tongue thick, and he tried not to see a sudden waterfall of future images that had Rian and Raphael living happily ever after. Which was stupid, because this was the plan. This was supposed to happen.

“I know you two are close, and I thought maybe… I was hoping you might pass along a message, because I tried to find him on social media, but there was nothing.”

At that, Dmitri’s mouth stretched into a half smile, and he shook his head. “Yeah, no. He’s not into that.”

Rian softened further, the look in his eyes sweet and fond. It was a look mirrored in so many moments Dmitri looked at Raphael. “Everything about him is so… I don’t know. Intriguing and cool and sweet. I know we just had the one lunch, but if he’s not seeing anyone…”

“He’s not,” Dmitri managed to say without sounding like everything was crashing down around him. And it was gutting, not because Dmitri wanted to keep Raphael for himself—even though he did—but because he could see so damn easily how they could be happy. Their lives were the same, but not, but the lunch had proven how much their pasts echoed each other’s. Rian could understand Raphael in a way Dmitri never could.

And Rian could probably give Raphael all the physical things he craved, when Dmitri’s body refused to.

“Again, I know this is so inappropriate, but…”

“It’s fine,” Dmitri said, and he was surprised at how calm he sounded. But he’d always known this day would come. “I haven’t talked to him much this week with school and work, but I’ll drop by tonight and mention you when I get home.”

Rian’s shoulders sagged, and he folded his hand over his knee. “You’re a good kid.”

A good kid. The sentiment was genuine—meant as a compliment rather than a stark reminder of yet another reason why anyone else but him was perfect for Raphael. The compliment wasn’t meant to destroy him, but he felt shredded inside. “Well. I try.”

Rian gave him a careful look, his brow dipping, but he didn’t comment on it. “How about I buy you some lunch and try to sell myself as a good choice for your friend?”

Dmitri wanted anything but, so he pushed to his feet and offered the best smile he could, shoving one hand into his pocket for his keys. “Rain check? I have work in two hours, and I wanted to get a jump start on my reading.”

Rian frowned again, but he nodded and rose, holding the door open as Dmitri stepped out. “Listen, if you think this is a bad idea…”

“I don’t,” Dmitri interrupted, and hated that he was being honest, because he was. “Raphael is probably one of my best friends, and he’s been dicked around a lot. He deserves to be happy, and he deserves to be with someone who appreciates him.”

“I can’t promise I won’t hurt him,” Rian said quietly.

Dmitri bowed his head. “I know.”

“But I think he might be worth a lot.”

“He is,” Dmitri confirmed, and before he embarrassed himself entirely, he turned on his heel and left.

“This is really the hard part, but it’s harder when you’re not listening.”

Dmitri flushed at the gentle chastisement, and he looked up from the fresh patch in the canoe he was meant to be sanding down. “Sorry.” His smile felt more like a grimace, and from the way Ronan raised a