Love Him Desperate (On the Market #5) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,46
talk down about it,” he said after a moment, waving his hand. It wasn’t often he had trouble with English, but sometimes Dmitri kind of liked the reminders that he wasn’t from Cherry Creek. That he’d lived a rich, full life long before he set foot in the little town.
“I’m not doing that.” Dmitri took a bite, then moved to the walk-in to grab a couple of waters Wilder kept stocked. He cracked the tops on both, then passed one to the other man. “I just mean it’s not the same. It’s a tiny campus, and the classes are super small. I couldn’t get lost if I tried.”
“If anyone can,” Raphael said, then he winked and Dmitri flushed. “Have you made any friends?”
At that, Dmitri rolled his eyes. “No, Dad, but I’m sure there’s still time.”
Raphael’s cheeks pinked, and he opened up the falafel container, handing one over before taking a bite of his own. The teasing settled into comfortable silence, then Raphael sighed. “I worry, of course. I don’t want you to be alone and miserable.”
“I don’t find being alone miserable,” Dmitri argued—and it was a half lie. His brain wasn’t always kind when left to its own devices, but a few months working at the ranger station had helped him find a sort of inner peace he hadn’t been expecting, and that carried itself to campus. “I have two hours between my morning and afternoon classes. The campus is pretty, and there’s shaded tables. I can eat, read, do homework. Trust me, it’s a lot better than high school.”
Raphael set his elbow on the table and leaned his chin into his hand. He looked even more tired then, the bags under his eyes more pronounced, and Dmitri didn’t miss the way his fingers trembled. “And your professors?”
“Normal,” he said. “There’s a couple of boring ones and a couple of nice ones.”
“And Ronan’s going to give you the time off when you need to study?”
Dmitri set his fork down and crossed his arms. “Seriously, what is going on? I have my aunts and Jayden to give me this stupid talk.”
Raphael passed a hand down his face. “Kleine Engel,” he started, grinning when Dmitri’s eyes narrowed. “I want you to be happy. You could make friends there and not be tied to some miserable old secretary…”
“Jayden would kick your ass if he heard you call the position a secretary,” Dmitri warned, but Raphael looked unrepentant.
“Cherry Creek hasn’t always been kind to you, but it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve kindness.”
“I’m not unhappy.” And that was the truth. Wanting and not having wasn’t the same thing as being miserable. He had moments, but he didn’t dwell in them anymore. “Anyway, I’m sure I’ll make friends.”
Raphael smiled, then fought back a yawn, offering Dmitri a sheepish smile as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand. “It’s been a rough couple of days.”
Dmitri raised a brow at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“My doctor is changing my medication. I had a seizure in his office, so he doesn’t want me driving anymore.”
Dmitri’s stomach twisted. He knew how important independence was for Raphael—he knew how those little things like driving and living alone and being trusted to handle his own care meant to him. Raphael had once whispered—on a stargazing night out by the lake—that he knew one day he’d start to lose them.
“It’ll probably be driving first. My body will be next. I won’t be able to get up off the sofa the same way, I won’t be able to get in and out of the shower. It won’t be tomorrow, but it’ll be sooner than most people, and I’m not ready.” He muttered a long string of German that Dmitri couldn’t hope to understand, but he read the tone too easily, and he used the last of his strength not to reach for him.
“Will he be cool with it if the new meds work?” Dmitri asked.
At that, Raphael’s eyes brightened a bit. “I think so. And there’s far more promising treatments now than when I was little.” He stabbed some of the chicken and took a bigger bite than before. “But this week isn’t to worry about me.”
Dmitri sighed, and he took a moment to let himself hate sitting here, inches away from the one thing he’d ever really let himself want. The one thing he couldn’t have. But he could keep on with his plan and find someone for Raphael, and then someone for himself—eventually. If