Love Him Desperate (On the Market #5) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,37

phone with Ronan,” he said, as though that explained anything. Dmitri dropped his bag and umbrella against the side of the desk like he had not a care in the world, and it warmed Raphael slightly to see him comfortable in a space where he’d only been hesitant before. “Is my uncle here?”

Raphael shook his head. “His last appointment is over, and he said you were refusing yet another birthday dinner with him, so he was going to go out.”

Dmitri’s mouth quirked up in a half grin. “I have a tradition to keep.”

“Can I hope it doesn’t involve judgmental pretty boys staying at a lake house?”

At that, Dmitri actually laughed as he leaned against the desk. “I was hoping it would mean grumpy Germans who won’t eat the Chinese food I pick out for him.”

Raphael swore he would combust from the inside out, but he held it back and instead pushed himself to his feet. “Are you ready for your gift?”

“I was counting on a twinkie,” Dmitri argued as he followed Raphael, measuring his pace as he’d naturally started to do over the last year. “Do I not get a twinkie?”

Raphael snorted as he pulled back the sliding door and gestured for Dmitri to go in. As predicted, he didn’t move. “Are we going to have a fight about this?”

“We never fight,” Dmitri lied, and he still didn’t move. “What is this?”

“My gift to you. I told you how I learned from that masseur in Örebro, so for your birthday, I want you to reap the rewards of all my hard work. Otherwise, it’ll go wasted.”

“You play dirty,” Dmitri accused.

Raphael grinned. “I never claimed otherwise, kleine Engel.”

Dmitri scoffed and pushed past him, standing at the foot of the massage table with his arms crossed. “I hate that name.”

“You don’t,” Raphael countered cheerfully. He leaned against the door with one hand, and his crutch with the other. “I’ll give you a few moments to undress and climb under the sheets. It’s not full body, so no frisky ideas.” He stopped when he saw something flash in Dmitri’s eyes, but it was gone before he could examine it. After a breath, he took a step forward. “I’m not trying to break tradition. I just want to give you something with more thought than gas station sweets.”

Dmitri’s face softened, and there was a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips again. “Fine. But for the record, I like the gas station sweets.”

Raphael’s heart thrashed against his ribs, and he took the gift of Dmitri’s concession for what it was, backing out of the room. His crutches sounded too loud as they clanked over the soft harp music, but that faded away as he slid the door shut, then pressed his forehead to the wood. This was torture in the kindest way. He wanted to allow himself to take what Dmitri would give—but no more than this.

When he craved touch, he called Lorenzo and laid in his lap while the other man stroked his hair and they didn’t talk about anything that mattered all day. It kept him safe and sane and kept him able to love Dmitri just like this, because there would be years of him he couldn’t have. And one day, Dmitri would find the person that made him trip head over heels and love him so damn desperately, neither of them could breathe.

And it might kill him a little, but it would be worth it to see him smile all the time instead of in fleeting moments.

After a bit, he heard Dmitri’s soft voice rise, so he slid the door back open, closing it behind him as he used one crutch to approach the table. The saddle chair was the perfect height, and he could propel it easily with his hands on the table, everything in convenient reach.

Raphael’s fingers never had the proper dexterity for this job—not long term. They would hold up for one client, and then give in to their spasms and stiffness, and he wouldn’t be able to pay his bills on that. But he had the skill—carefully honed in that little shop in Örebro and used for this purpose—which he would never regret.

There had been a few dark, achingly lonely nights where he cursed Chiara’s bright soul and Cody’s precious smile, but they were few and far between these days.

“Comfortable?” he asked.

“Tense,” Dmitri answered, then wriggled a bit. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m very aware of that,” Raphael murmured. He reached over to flick on