Love Him Desperate (On the Market #5) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,16

eat it.”

“Usually alone,” Raphael said.

Dmitri bit his lip, then shrugged. “Maybe not tonight?”

Raphael felt something small and quiet unknot in his chest, and he reached for his keys before using his crutch to help him stand. “My evening is free.”

Dmitri’s continued smile was worth it.

The drive to the restaurant was just over half an hour, and there wasn’t much to be said in the car, but Raphael found he didn’t mind the silence. Dmitri drove, and his hands were white-knuckled with his grip on the steering wheel until Raphael turned on the radio. It wasn’t long before he was tapping out a rhythm to some of the old seventies rock, which was the only decent station they could get on that road.

“My dad was really into those folk bands,” Dmitri said quietly after the last song faded into a series of ads. “The ones with all the mandolins and tambourines.” His finger flicked at the volume until it died in the speaker, then he sighed. “One of my first memories is of him and my mom dancing in the kitchen to this one band…I don’t even remember the name. The singer was English, I think. She had this really melodic voice.”

Raphael smiled at him, leaning back against the seat. “They loved each other?”

“I don’t know. Maybe once upon a time.” Dmitri licked his lips and kept his gaze firmly on the road, but Raphael was pretty sure the younger man could see him out of his periphery. “I’d probably be more jaded about the idea of love if it weren’t for my aunts, you know? Like they’ve been through some shit, but they’re still really into each other.”

“I’ve noticed,” Raphael said, because he had. Everyone had. They were one of the couples on the long list of relationships that choked him with both envy and happiness because of course people deserved to find contentment, even if it would never be for him. “They’re good people.”

“Yeah.” Dmitri bit his lip. “I was kind of unfair to them when I got back to Cherry Creek. Life with my dad was really shitty, and they just kind of shuffled me off to Jayden, who didn’t know what the fuck to do with some angry teenager.”

“He loves you,” Raphael said quickly. He felt a fiery need to defend his friend, only because he had seen the way Jayden had put everything quietly behind what Dmitri needed in those couple of years.

“I know. They all do, but I was angry, and it’s hard to live with that guilt now.” Dmitri dragged a hand down his face, then gripped the wheel again. “I’m trying, but no one wants to believe it. Owen fucked up, and I got left with his reputation after he took off, and…” He went silent a long moment, but Raphael could tell he just needed time. “I keep wondering if maybe I should just leave too, you know? It’s not like I’m going to make something of myself working in a cupcake shop.”

“Only if you think your work defines who you are,” Raphael pointed out. “I don’t think I’m a less worthy version of myself because I make appointments all day.”

“That’s not,” Dmitri said, then shook his head. “See, this is what I do. My mouth doesn’t connect to my brain, and I say stupid shit and… I mean, it’s no wonder people don’t want to give me a second chance.”

Raphael wanted to know what the first chance was, because in the grand scheme of things, Dmitri had been a good kid. He knew a little about his circumstances, and he knew that kids like him tended to grow up rough and hardened. Dmitri wasn’t that. He was soft edges with a desperation to make people happy—maybe to his own detriment. And it wasn’t Raphael’s place to say anything about it, but he wondered who it was that made Dmitri think his life would be defined by a handful of childhood mistakes.

“I’m not offended,” he said after a beat. “I only meant to help you put it into perspective.”

Dmitri swallowed thickly and didn’t say anything until he pulled into the parking lot. He found a space close to the entrance, and Raphael wondered if he’d done it for him or not, but he didn’t ask. The silence in the car was heavy, and he wondered if maybe he’d made the man’s birthday even worse.

“I,” Dmitri started after he turned the car off. He reached for the door handle and opened it a