Love to Hate You (Hope Valley #9) - Jessica Prince Page 0,81
insisted, my tone pleading as I moved closer to him and placed my hands on his chest. “I need you to tell me what’s happening. I need you to not keep secrets from me. I need you to let me all the way in because this half in, half out you’re holding me at sucks. I’m so sick of being kept in the dark. Please just give me something.”
“I can’t,” he rasped. “I’ll tell you everything once I know it’s safe, I swear, Hayden. I just can’t tell you now.”
“Why?” I asked in a pained whisper. “Why can’t you tell me anything? I know Dani knows something at least. Why can she know but I can’t?”
“I’m just trying to protect you.”
“That’s not an answer!” I cried in frustration. “That’s an avoidance tactic. Stop dancing around my question and answer me. Why can Dani know what’s going on, but I can’t?”
“Because she’s engaged to Leo!” he barked, throwing his hands up and raking his fingers through his hair. “They’re getting married and we’re just—”
He stopped himself from finishing that sentence, his eyes going wide like he only just realized how bad what he’d said sounded. But it was too late. I didn’t need him to finish his sentence in order to feel gutted by it.
“And we’re just fucking,” I finished for him, my words coming out hollow.
“That came out wrong,” he grated. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I’m not really sure how many other ways there are to take that,” I said snidely. “I mean, it’s pretty clear. Leo and Dani are getting married, so he trusts her with the big, important things like that. She’s in the inner circle and I’m merely the woman you’re currently banging.”
“That’s not the fuckin’ case, and you know it,” he growled.
“Do I?” I let out an incredulous laugh. “So then you’ve paid up on that bet you made with Trick and Hayes, then? The one where they said you’d eventually meet a woman who’d mean something to you?”
His torso rocked back in shock. “What—How did you know about that?”
God, this hurt. I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but this hurt even worse than when I caught Alex and Krista in that bistro together. “You’ve said it yourself, Micah, it’s a small town. So, if we aren’t just fucking, you paid up, right?” His hesitation was answer enough. “I see,” I whispered, nodding in sadness. I twisted, prepared to walk away when he cut into my path, taking me by my arms.
“We’re more than that, and you know it, Hayden. You feel it. I haven’t paid up on the bet because it’s more than just meeting a woman I care about. They were talkin’ marriage—”
He was just making this worse. I pulled from his hold and moved three steps back. “Oh, okay. I think I’m following. So, you do care about me, but you don’t see a future with me.”
He took another step toward me but stopped when I moved back. “It’s not like that! I’ve never felt like this with any woman I’ve been with. I’m out of my element here, Hayden. I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe.”
“I don’t need you to keep me safe!” I shouted, throwing my arms wide. “I don’t need a protector, Micah. I need a partner. God, this sucks,” I lamented on a hollow laugh, “because while you’ve been keeping your secrets, holding yourself halfway out of this relationship this whole time, I’ve been falling in love with you.”
His eyes went wide, flashing with something I was too lost in pain to try and identify. “Hayden—” he choked out, but I wasn’t finished.
“You don’t trust me.”
“That isn’t—” I held my hand up, warding him off when he started for me again.
“I’m such a fucking idiot. I fell for you; meanwhile, you don’t trust me enough to give me anything.”
“That’s bullshit,” he argued angrily. “I’ve given you more than any woman has ever gotten from me.”
“Then I guess that makes me selfish, because I want more. I want it all.”
After laying it all out like that, I stood there silently, my heart in my throat as I waited to see what he’d say. Like an idiot, I waited and I hoped.
And he gave me nothing.
“I think it’s best if we call it a night right here,” I told him, feeling the cracks start to form in my heart and spiderweb wider and wider.
“No,” he declared vehemently. “We aren’t doin’ that. We can work through this. But you can’t