Love to Hate You (Hope Valley #9) - Jessica Prince Page 0,63

voice in the back of my head, warning me that I shouldn’t like that, but I ignored her. Sylvia and McKenna were right. I deserved some happiness.

“Yep. Got a problem with that?”

I scrunched my lips to the side, pretending like I was giving that some serious thought before replying, “Nope. I’m actually really okay with it.”

That seemed to surprise him. He tilted his face down to mine, the thick slashes of his brows lifting on his forehead. “Yeah?”

“Mmmhmm.”

He didn’t look convinced. “So you’re not gonna keep arguing with me about bein’ in a relationship?” he asked skeptically. “I’m not gonna have to kiss you or fuck you into agreement?”

I tipped my face up, smirking seductively as I gave him a wink and replied, “Oh, you’ll still have to kiss me and fuck me plenty. Just not to get me to agree that we’re in a relationship.”

His hands roamed under the blanket, the pads of his fingers finding my ribs and digging in to tickle me. I jerked against him, begging him to stop as tears of laughter started spilling from my eyes.

I collapsed against him, out of breath and still giggling when he finally stopped and curled me back into his warm body. “So why the change of heart?”

“Well, first, how upset would Ivy be if she found out I dumped her best friend in the whole world?”

“Valid point,” he said, humor dripping from his words. “She’d take it hard. We’re basically each other’s favorite people.”

Man, that was nice to hear.

I stopped teasing and shrugged, trying to play it cool as I gave him the real answer. “I like you,” I answered simply. “And I’m discovering there’s a whole lot to like. But mostly, it’s because I like being with you. I like how you make me feel and who I am when I’m with you. And that’s important to me; I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”

His words were laced with concern and genuine curiosity as he asked, “You didn’t like yourself when you were with him?”

I inhaled deeply. “It was more like I didn’t actually know myself when I was with him. I became someone else when we were together. It started off so small that I barely noticed it was happening. He’d make a comment about my hair or an outfit I was wearing, and I wouldn’t think anything of changing it. Before I knew it, I was a completely different woman. Everything I did or said centered around making him happy, but I’d packaged it so I could convince myself and everyone else it wasn’t just for him, it was for us, for our life and our family.

“I lost who I was, but then I had Ivy, and I started to gain some of the old Hayden back. That woman who’d been fierce and opinionated. I think motherhood does that to a woman. In order to protect my daughter, I needed a bit of that old fire, and Alex didn’t like that. Our life no longer centered around him. I didn’t do what he wanted at the drop of a hat, without question, so we started to fight more and more. I thought it was a hurdle, and that we’d eventually get past it.” I let out a sigh and shrugged against his chest. “I was wrong.”

His arm tightened around me as he grunted, “Fuckin’ idiot.”

Lifting my head off his shoulder, I looked up at him with my brows drawn down. “Huh?”

“Him, Red. He’s a fuckin’ idiot. That fierceness you mentioned . . . Christ, it’s one of the sexiest things about you, baby.” One corner of his mouth hooked up as he added, “Even when you’re bein’ a stubborn pain in my ass. That first night we met, I liked that you spoke your mind. And after, I liked that you didn’t take any of my shit when we fought, that you threw attitude, giving back as good as you got. All of that’s what drew me to you in the first place, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Warmth hit my chest again, spidering out until it entered my bloodstream and coursed through my body. “Really?”

“Absolutely. Any man worth a shit is gonna want a woman who sticks up for herself and knows her own mind.” He leaned in closer, brushing the tip of his nose against mine as he lowered his voice. “And any man worth a shit knows, he gets his hands on fire like that, you don’t let it