Love to Hate You (Hope Valley #9) - Jessica Prince Page 0,33

and placed it on the stovetop, lighting the gas burner beneath it. “Are you tellin’ me Micah called you a selfish asshole?”

“Yes—well, no. Not in those exact words. More like, he pointed out some ugly truths I’d been avoiding.”

“And those would be?”

Letting out a sigh, I slumped my shoulders and looked down at my hand, pulling the sleeves of my tight-fitted yoga jacket down past my fingers. “I should’ve made a better effort to come see you the past several years,” I admitted. “Or any effort, really. I let Alex dictate every aspect of my life, and that’s not who I am. It’s not who I ever was. And honestly, I’m kicking myself for not seeing it all as it was happening. I let him turn me into someone else entirely, and I did it at the expense of the one person who’s always been there for me. You.”

She placed two delicate china tea cups on the island, dropping a teabag into each one before looking back at me. “Oh, honey. I never felt that way.”

“I know, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Hayden, you don’t—”

“Please, just let me get this out.”

I waited for her to give me a nod before continuing. I leaned deeper into the island, placing my palms on the top of it. “I want you to know, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Every single thing. And not just recently, but my entire life. I’ve always known I could count on you, and I think a part of me took that for granted. But that’s done.”

She didn’t say a word once I finished, and I found the silence we lapsed into pretty damn uncomfortable.

“Uh . . . are you gonna say anything, or just stand there looking at me?”

“Well, I wanted to make sure you were finished first.”

“Oh, okay. Um . . . I’m finished.”

“Good. Then it’s my turn.” The kettle began to whistle, cutting her off. She moved casually, extinguishing the flame and pouring the boiling water into both cups before returning the kettle to the stove. Once she finished, she came back to the island and scooted my cup in front of me, picking hers up and dunking the bag a few times before blowing on the steaming liquid inside. “Right, where was I? Oh, yes. Darlin’ girl, you’re being completely ridiculous.”

I paused with my tea cup partway to my lips. “I—huh?”

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Hayden, you couldn’t be selfish if you tried. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body.”

“But I—”

“Still talkin’, lovely.” I quickly clamped my mouth shut. “As I was saying, you aren’t selfish. You think for one second I’d bend over backward to help you if I truly thought you were just takin’ advantage?”

“Well . . . no. I guess not. But then—”

“You were flounderin’. You were stuck in this life that was pullin’ you down, and you were fighting to stay afloat. And yes, while you were stuck in the midst of that, there were other aspects that got pushed to the wayside. That doesn’t make you selfish. People do bad things sometimes, that doesn’t mean they’re bad people, and sometimes people do selfish things without actually being selfish, simply because they’re tryin’ to keep their heads above water. You see what I’m sayin’?”

“I-I think so.”

“You were pre-occupied. I get that now, and I certainly got it then. Let the past stay where it belongs, Hayden. Enjoy the present.”

Enjoy the present. I was pretty sure I could do that. Hopefully.

“Now, are you finished with this silliness? ’Cause there’s a marathon of Supernatural on right now, and you know how I love those Winchester boys. You’ll stay and watch it with me.”

It wasn’t a request so much as an order, but even if she’d asked, my answer would have been yes. Because I too loved those Winchester boys.

I moved down the front walk the moment I saw the Mercedes, meeting the car at the curb just as it came to a stop. Ignoring the woman up front, I kept my eyes on the back seat, smiling big and waving the moment Ivy came into view.

As soon as Alex put the car into park, she undid her seatbelt and smooshed her face against the window. “Mommy!”

I moved to her door and pulled it open, scooping her up and resting her weight on my hip. The moment her tiny arms closed around my neck I felt that tightness that had taken up residence in my chest the