Love-Blocked – Charity Parkerson Page 0,6

one hundred percent responsible for destroying them, he hadn’t really known anything.

Jett pointed his fork toward Derreck’s plate. “Eat. I don’t hate you, but if you want to hang out, then don’t waste the food I gave you.”

Derreck didn’t pick up his fork. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Jett’s accepting expression. It was obvious he fully believed no one could or would love him and that was on Derreck. That would always be a black mark on his soul.

“Nino hired me off the street,” Derreck said, deciding to trust Jett with the story of his life, since Jett had done the same. No one heard this from him. Not ever. “Not only was I homeless, I barely knew how to read. No one in their right mind should’ve trusted me to work in a casino where tons of money filters through every day. Not only did he give me a job, he let me live in the hotel and paid for years of medical treatment I needed from living on the streets. He became my family. I could never repay Antonio for the life he’s given me. Losing him to Phoenix—not Bay—hit me harder than I dreamed possible.” Derreck shook his head. “I know it might sound like complete bullshit, but seriously, kissing him had nothing to do with us. No doubt it didn’t feel that way when it was all said and done, but at the moment, it didn’t feel like anything that could touch us. I’ve never been that scared of losing someone. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Jett set his hand on Derreck’s forearm. He rubbed. Derreck’s gaze dropped to Jett’s hand. It looked so pale and delicate against Derreck’s dark skin. “I know about your living on the street. I pried the story from Antonio back when I realized I was falling for you.” He lightly squeezed Derreck’s arm before pulling away. Jett stood and carried his plate to the sink. With his back to Derreck, Jett polished off his drink. As he set his glass in the sink, Derreck pushed to his feet. On autopilot and with his heart in control, Derreck closed the distance between them. As his body collided with Jett’s, Derreck automatically dropped his mouth to Jett’s shoulder. For a moment, Jett melted into his hold. Derreck’s heart raced. His lips moved to Jett’s throat. Jett reached up and stroked Derreck’s beard before stepping sideways out of Derreck’s hold.

“No, thank you.” Jett didn’t meet Derreck’s gaze as he shot him down.

“I should go.” It was Derreck’s broken heart and stung pride speaking, but he couldn’t stay. As much as he wanted Jett back, he was weak from too much loss. The last year had kicked his ass. He was tired. When it came to Jett, Derreck didn’t know how to fight. Never had.

“You didn’t touch your dinner.”

Without meeting Jett’s stare, Derreck flashed a smile. “Save it for lunch tomorrow. I’m sure that was your original plan. Thanks for giving me a chance to explain. I’m sorry I failed you.”

“Bear,” Jett said, sounding exasperated.

Derreck didn’t slow on the way to the door. He understood he couldn’t go back in time and make better choices. Derreck couldn’t make their relationship healthy or start out on a different foot. He had fallen in love with his best friend’s lover, acted on that love, and ruined everything. It didn’t matter Antonio hadn’t loved Jett and Derreck did. Equally, it mattered not at all that kissing Antonio hadn’t touched Derreck’s heart. Derreck had destroyed them. There was no going back from that.

Jett fought the urge to chase Derreck to the parking lot. The old him would have done just that—no matter the personal cost. He couldn’t be that person anymore. Desperate looked ugly on everyone equally. If Derreck had really loved him, which Jett doubted since Derreck had cheated, then he had loved a version of Jett that didn’t exist anymore.

The day Derreck had chosen Antonio, Jett had spent the afternoon with Antonio’s man—a doctor named Bay. While Bay had been every bit as broken-hearted as Jett, he wasn’t self-destructive like Jett. Instead of burning down Antonio’s casino, the way Jett wanted, Bay threw himself into helping Jett. For some reason Jett couldn’t explain, he had started talking and hadn’t stopped. Jett told Bay everything, while carefully avoiding the fact that he had once dated Antonio. Bay had listened and then handed Jett the harshest truth: he needed professional help.

Jett needed counseling and probably meds. Bay had