Love-Blocked – Charity Parkerson Page 0,35
love these men. This hurt like hell, but he knew from experience it would hurt even more if he forced them to tell him goodbye. “I don’t want to become the love-blocking asshole in your lives.”
“What?” Derreck practically barked the question, as if daring Kirill to continue down this path. “Explain.”
There was no turning back. Kirill took a breath, trying to squelch the pain. He sat on the footstool in front of them, set his elbows on his knees, and dove in. “You two loved each other before I came around. Maybe I kind of helped you with getting back together, but we all know it’s only a matter of time before I’m asked to move along.” Kirill took another deep breath and focused on the couple. “I’m the odd man out here. It’s best I see you two as the blessing you’ve been and get out of the way before I get my heart broken again.”
Derreck shifted Jett onto one knee before leaning forward and tugging Kirill into his lap too. “Okay. You say ‘again’ like we’ve broken your heart in the past. Tell us what’s going on in your head.”
Kirill didn’t respond right away. It felt too good in Derreck’s lap. Kirill turned sideways and cuddled up. Derreck was so big, he had no trouble holding Jett and Kirill at the same time. Jett smiled like he knew Kirill’s thoughts. They were needy when it came to cuddles, but Derreck had enough to give.
The pains in Kirill’s chest said he needed to explain and move along before being with them killed him. He took a breath and told the story he never wanted to tell. “This isn’t my first relationship like this one.” Once the first words were out there, the rest of the story poured from him—like he had been waiting for someone to ask. “When I met Tim and Zach, they had been together seven years and married for three. We clicked immediately and started doing everything together. If they went to dinner, I went too. Everything. I was always the third wheel, but I didn’t feel like it.” Kirill kept his gaze locked on Jett. Jett looked so understanding that Kirill couldn’t stop confessing everything. “To this day, I don’t understand how I ended up in their bed. I just did. Then, it didn’t stop. They kind of moved in with me while I wasn’t looking, and we settled into a life together. I loved them.” Kirill took a breath. He still felt like such a goddamn idiot.
“It’s okay,” Jett said, taking his hand.
A sad smile touched Kirill’s lips. He knew Jett understood humiliation. That gave him the strength to tell the rest. “One day, I came home, and they were packed to leave. They said all the things you’d expect. It had been fun. They needed to get back to concentrating on each other. Surely there were no hard feelings because I had to have known they would want to start a real family one day. Oh, and thanks for letting us crash here while we saved money for a new place.” Kirill blinked. His eyes burned. “I was completely in love with them and I was just a good time. Fucking me was how they lived rent free.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Jett leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kirill’s in a quick kiss. “Surely you don’t think things are like that with us.”
Kirill couldn’t lie. “I don’t, but I didn’t think things were like that with them either. All I know is, you two already loved each other before I came along. I don’t think I can survive hearing you two tell me I’m just a good time. So I’ll duck out now and let you build your life.”
Jett blew out a breath and looked Derreck’s way. “Do you want to go first?”
Derreck gave a sharp nod and focused on Kirill. As always, his intensity made Kirill hold his breath. “I love you. This isn’t Jett’s and my relationship.” Derreck took turns kissing Kirill’s and Jett’s shoulders. “This is our relationship. The three of us. Together. If you’re choosing to leave us, you’re choosing to break our hearts, and I demand a better excuse than two assholes once broke your heart. Everyone has baggage. Only fucking liars claim they don’t. But I thought the three of us had already chosen each other. If I’m doing something that makes you feel like the odd man out, fucking say it so I can change. But don’t