Love on Beach Avenue (The Sunshine Sisters #1) - Jennifer Probst Page 0,102
in his eye. It had cost him to be honest with his feelings, but she was past thinking or analyzing or wanting space. She wanted him, and it was time to step off the cliff and take the fall, trusting he’d eventually catch her.
Forgoing words, she stepped into his arms, yanked his head down, and kissed him. He groaned, and she opened her mouth to taste and savor, relishing his flavor and scent and feel of his hard body pressed against hers.
When they broke away, his pewter gaze glowed with purpose. “Let’s go.”
She took his hand and followed him to the car.
Carter made love to her for hours. He touched and tasted every sweet inch of her body, spread naked on his bed, reveling in her throaty cries and slick, hot need. When they collapsed together on the tangled sheets, the silence was broken by the faint scratching on the door.
“Poor Lucy,” she groaned, pressing her face into his shoulder. “She hates my guts.”
He laughed. “No, she doesn’t. But when she hears you scream my name, she gets confused. She wants to see what’s going on.”
“I do not want Lucy to see me naked.”
He laughed harder. “You need to make a truce. I want us to be one happy family together, okay?”
She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. After a few moments, he noticed her silence was different. Troubled.
Leaning over, he turned her chin toward him and looked into her hazel eyes. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”
“Nothing.”
He traced the frown lines marring her brow. “Tell me what brought this on. Do I need to give you another orgasm?”
She smiled, but it was weak. Shadows danced in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”
Normally, he’d accept her dismissal, not wanting to stir up worries or problems best left untouched. But with Avery, he wanted her to share her heart, her worries, her feelings. He wanted to steep himself in her body and mind and try to give her the same. “It does to me,” he said quietly.
“How can you not want children? I see the way you are with Zoe, and how you interacted with Brianna at the Bankses’ wedding. Your fierce affection for Lucy. You’re full of love, Carter. What happened for you to stop believing in that?”
The words plowed into him like a sucker punch. All those ugly, messy feelings he’d locked up tight rumbled for freedom, bringing him back to his decision so many years ago, when he’d found his father. The grief and loss on Ally’s face when she had realized both her parents were gone. The struggle to give his sister enough security and love so she’d never find out the truth, and the constant worry he’d never be enough. Children were casualties of love all the time. How could he ever trust himself not to hurt them like his own father had hurt him?
The memories stirred, unsettled. He tried to retreat behind his usual barrier. “Something happened that affected me when I was young. It changed the way I looked at things like love and marriage. I don’t like to talk about it.”
“Well, that’s too bad,” she said, sitting up in bed and tossing him a fierce glare. “Because I’m naked in your bed, and falling hard, and you promised to give me your best. I have a right to know what made you so sure no relationship is worth fighting for.”
Shock held him immobile. Then he shook his head. “Why are you pushing me?”
“Because it’s important!” she said, grabbing his arm. “You’re important. I’m not about to just meekly accept your decision to hide and pretend it doesn’t matter. Dammit, it does matter! You deserve more, and so do I!”
Dear God, she wouldn’t stop. She’d just keep pushing, sensing something about to break inside him. Another woman would’ve retreated and left him to his secrets. But not Avery. She would never allow him to run and hide in her quest for answers. And in that staggering moment, the truth he’d never uttered to a single soul before rose up and begged for freedom. The secret broke free and shot from his lips: “My father killed himself.”
Shock filled her eyes. Her hand dropped from his arm. “Ally said he had a heart attack.”
A bitter smile curved his lips. “Because I never told her the truth. After our mother died, our father fell apart. He was so damn in love, he didn’t want to live without her.” The anger rose back up—a living, breathing thing that