Of Love and Evil - By Anne Rice Page 0,9

soft reverent glow.

I took him up to the front with me, and we knelt on the pair of prie-dieux that were there for weddings, for the bride and the groom.

I realized how much had happened to me with Malchiah since I’d come to this chapel, and when I looked at the tabernacle, when I looked at the small house of God on the altar, and the sanctuary light beside it, I was overcome with gratitude just for being alive, let alone being given a chance at life such as I’d been given, let alone being given the gift of Toby that was mine.

I leaned down close to him. He was kneeling there, with his hands folded just as mine had been folded, and he didn’t seem to object to the fact that it was a Catholic house of worship.

“I want to tell you something, something I want you always to remember,” I said.

He nodded.

“I believe God’s in this house,” I said. “But I know that He is everywhere too. He’s in every molecule of everything that exists. It’s all part of Him, His creation, and I believe in Him, in everything He’s ever done.”

He listened to this without looking at me. His eyes were down. He just nodded when I stopped.

“I don’t expect you to believe in Him because I do,” I said. “But I want you to know that I do believe in Him, and if I didn’t think He’d forgiven me for leaving you and your mother, well, I don’t know that I would have ever had the courage to pick up the phone and call her and tell her where I was. But I do believe He’s forgiven me, and now it’s my job to get you to forgive me, and to get her to forgive me, and I aim to do exactly that.”

“I forgive you,” he said in a small voice. “I really really do.”

I smiled. I kissed the top of his head. “I know you do. I knew it when I first saw you. But forgiving doesn’t really happen all at once, and sometimes it takes some maintenance, and I’m prepared for the maintenance that this is going to require. But … this isn’t all I have to tell you. I have to tell you something else too.”

“I’m listening,” he said.

“Remember this,” I said. I hesitated. I didn’t know quite how to start. “Talk to God,” I said. “No matter how you’re feeling, no matter what you’re facing, no matter what happens to hurt you or disappoint you or confuse you. Talk to God. And never stop talking to Him. You understand me? Talk to Him. Realize that because things go bad in this world, because they go well, because they come easy or they come with difficulty, well, it doesn’t mean that He is not here. I don’t mean here in this chapel. I mean here everywhere. Talk to Him. No matter how many years pass, no matter what happens, always talk to Him. Would you try to remember to do that?”

He nodded. “When do I start?”

I laughed softly under my breath. “Anytime you want. You start now with or without words, and you just keep talking and you never never let anything come between you and talking to God.”

He thought about this very gravely and then he nodded. “I’m going to talk to Him now,” he said. “You might want to wait outside.”

I was amazed. I got up, kissed him again on the forehead and told him that I’d be right outside whenever he wanted to join me.

About fifteen minutes later he came out and we started walking down the garden paths together, and he was taking pictures again, and he didn’t say too much. But he walked right close to me, next to me, as if he was with me, and when I saw Liona sitting on a bench just smiling at us as we walked together, I felt such happiness I couldn’t find words myself to contain it. And I knew I never would.

We walked back, Toby and I, to the giant shell of the ruined church, the largest part that had been left by the old quake.

For the first time, I saw Malchiah, over to one side, leaning rather casually, for all his fine clothes, against the dusty brick-and-mortar wall.

“There he is again,” said Toby.

“You mean you’ve seen him before?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s been watching us. He was in the chapel when we were in the chapel. I saw him