me even think to go after you? To force me out of your building… okay, maybe…” Poppy was thinking aloud more than anything else. “But ruining you financially would do nothing to me… If I needed money, all it would take is a phone call…”
“So why are you living here?” Poppy hadn’t even been thinking about where he was and was surprised when he hunkered down next to her. “If you’re some rich heiress, what are you doing here? Slumming it? What? Did you lose a bet?”
How could anyone understand it? Sometimes it made no sense to her. How she’d never belonged anywhere. How her whole life was a mindless routine of numbness. That the charmed and privileged life she’d grown into didn’t feel like it fit her and never had.
“Yeah, that’s it,” she said, attempting a smile. “I lost a bet.”
Looking at her wine, Poppy couldn’t muster the inclination to pick it up even though she longed for its taste.
His finger caught her jaw to bring her attention back around to him. “You suck at lying.”
The truth was, her resolve was slipping. Poppy wanted so much from life, for herself. She wanted to believe her grandmother was right, that she did have the fire to see it through. But what did she have to offer? Poppy needed hope, she needed to know all the feelings that had been churned up over the last week or so meant something. That the melancholy was worth it.
Bold was an understatement for what came over her in the next second. Pushing up, she angled her head to seek his mouth. Although Poppy came close, she didn’t make contact. He leaned back, away from her advance, his hand dropping from her face.
“I’m sorry,” she said, mortified at herself. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”
“No,” he said. “It’s okay.”
The quake of embarrassment shook deep to her core. “No, it’s not. I should never have—”
“I have rules. You’re a beautiful woman, Poppy, I just—”
“I understand,” she said, smiling despite the heat she could feel building in her cheeks. “Too much wine or whatever, you know.” He glanced at the bottle and could see as well as her that there was less than a half glass out of it. “But I should, uh…” He stood up straight as she clambered up. “I should get some sleep.”
“Sure. Sorry to disturb you so late.”
Yeah, it was nearly ten PM. Except, she wasn’t long back from work, so technically, they were still in her evening.
Still, neither of them were slow to reach the door. Turner opened it and went striding on out, throwing a grumble of “goodnight” back her way without slowing down.
Poppy closed the door and fell back against it. What had she been thinking trying to kiss him like that? They’d known each other for three days. She’d done her share of dating, but sheesh, she’d never just launched herself at a guy after knowing him less than a week. Hell, she couldn’t remember ever just launching herself at a guy.
Her life was a mess. She’d had control of it for little more than a month and she was already making a mess of it.
SIX
After work the next day, Poppy looked for signs Turner had been working in the apartment. She couldn’t find any. Every time she thought about him, mortification overtook her again, so she pushed him out of her mind and fought off her disappointment.
The day after that was one of her off days. Just in case he wanted to work, and bring his friends, she got up early, tidied up, and went to the spa.
There were just some habits that she couldn’t kick. Knowing she was saving such a mint on rent and utilities, it seemed okay to spend a day trying to wash away her woes. Funny how she’d thought the aggravation of finding an apartment was the worst stress she’d experience. Men were so much more complicated. Romance was the real stress. Some of it was familiar; it wasn’t like she’d never dated in the past.
No, that wasn’t true, it wasn’t familiar. Sure, she’d been disappointed by a guy who didn’t call when he’d said he would, but what she felt about the Turner situation wasn’t disappointment. She was embarrassed, yes, but it hurt. It actually hurt to think about him and face the truth that he didn’t want her.
For the first time in her life, Poppy had entertained the idea that maybe she could choose her own path. That maybe it would include