to marry her, and she would have if it hadn’t meant spending the rest of her life on a ranch in Wyoming. She couldn’t do that any more than he could have moved to New York for her. She wanted nothing from him now, except to know that he was all right, and confirm that they had loved each other. That seemed important, and perhaps it would be to him too. Maybe then, they could both go on in peace.
She wasn’t sure when she was going to do it, but it was a pilgrimage she wanted to make. Her broken ankle and moment of feeling vulnerable and frail had opened a window in her soul somewhere. Maybe destiny had led her to the box with their love letters and photographs. It was time. And just knowing that made her feel as though she had grown wings.
Chapter 4
The shoot on Thursday went surprisingly well, in spite of Maddie’s being on crutches and less able to move around than she usually was. The studio assistants she always hired for shoots helped her, and she was in full control of the session by the end of the day. The actress she had been assigned to shoot for the cover of Vogue had never felt as glamorous or as beautiful, and she and Maddie hit it off brilliantly. The famous movie star was sixty-nine years old, full of life and energy, and she felt like a girl again in the eye of Maddie’s lens. The shoot was a great success, and Maddie was certain the editors would be thrilled with the results.
She had a great feeling of satisfaction when she went to bed that night. She was still on top of her game, despite her unfortunate accident.
As soon as she got her walking cast, she could put weight on her left leg again, gingerly at first, but by the day after, she was moving around with ease. She kept the crutches at hand to ensure her balance, but didn’t need them as much as she had a week before.
The shoot on Monday went equally well, and at the end of the day, Maddie sat in her office looking pensive. She had a plan. She’d been thinking about it for days, and the more certain she became, the stronger she felt. She hadn’t been sure when she wanted to do it at first, but she realized that the time was now. Remarkably, she had no firm bookings for the next few weeks, only several tentative things in the works, which was rare for her. In five weeks she’d be shooting in Shanghai. She had the time now and the desire, and everything about it felt right.
She did everything she needed to do the next day, without telling anyone. She was going to disappear for a few weeks. She was planning to check in with Penny occasionally so she wouldn’t worry, and Penny could reach her on her cellphone if anything important happened. But she was going on a trip back in history to quietly close doors to the past, and open the windows to the future. She was excited about it.
On Wednesday evening before she went upstairs to pack, Penny found her at her desk with a peaceful look on her face, and a bright light in her eyes. She observed her suspiciously. She knew her well.
“You’re up to something. I know you are. I can tell.” Maddie didn’t deny it, and only smiled.
“Maybe so,” she admitted cautiously. “I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m fine. I’m going away for a while.”
“How long a while? Months? Years?” Penny was panicked.
“As long as I need. Don’t book anything for the next month. I’ll be back in time to do Shanghai.”
“You’re going away for a month?” She almost shrieked it. Maddie hardly ever took a day off, even on weekends. In fourteen years, Penny couldn’t remember any time when Maddie had taken two weeks off, let alone a month. “Are you going alone?” She wondered suddenly if there was a man in Maddie’s life she didn’t know about. Anything was possible. Maddie often kept her most private thoughts to herself.
“I’m going to visit some old friends. I’ll see how far I get. I’ll check in with you when I can. I don’t want to take calls, unless there’s an emergency with the kids. I need some time to myself.”
“Is Deanna threatening you again? Did you have a fight?”