Lord of Misrule Page 0,66

Shane sighed.

"And you're going to let all that happen."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't say you weren't, either. Don't tell me it's complicated, because it isn't. Either you stand up for something, or you lie down for it. You said that to me one time, and you were right." Claire burrowed closer into his arms. "Shane, you were right then. Be right now."

He touched her face. His fingers traced down her cheek, across her lips, and his eyes--she'd never seen that look in his eyes. In anyone's, really.

"In this whole screwedup town, you're the only thing that's always been right to me," he whispered. "I love you, Claire." She saw something that might have been just a flash of panic go across his expression, but then he steadied again. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I do. I love you."

He said something else, but the world had narrowed around her. Shane's lips kept moving, but all she heard were the same words echoing over and over inside her head like the tolling of a giant brass bell: I love you.

He sounded like it had taken him completely by surprise--not in a bad way, but more as if he hadn't really understood what he was feeling until that instant.

She blinked. It was as if she'd never really seen him before, and he was beautiful. More beautiful than any man she'd ever seen in her entire life, ever.

Whatever he was saying, she stopped it by kissing him. A lot. And for a very long time. When he finally backed up, he didn't go far, and this look in his eyes, this intense and overwhelming need--that was new, too.

And she liked it.

"I love you," he said, and kissed her so hard he took her breath away. There was more to it than before--more passion, more urgency, more . . . everything. It was as if she were caught in a tide, carried away, and she thought that if she never touched the shore again, it would be good to drown like this, just swim forever in all this richness.

Red flag, some part of her screamed, come on, red flag. What are you doing?

She wished it would just shut up.

"I love you, too," she whispered to him. Her voice was shaking, and so were her hands where they rested on his chest. Under the soft Tshirt, his muscles were tensed, and she could feel every deep breath he took. "I'd do anything for you."

She meant it to be an invitation, but that was the thing that shocked sense back into him. He blinked. "Anything," he repeated, and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Yeah. I'm getting that. Bad idea, Claire. Very, very bad."

"Today?" She laughed a little wildly. "Everything's crazy today. Why can't we be? Just once?"

"Because I made promises," he said. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, and she felt a groan shake his whole body. "To your parents, to myself, to Michael. To you, Claire. I can't break my word. It's pretty much all I've got these days."

"But . . . what if--"

"Don't," he whispered in her ear. "Please don't. This is tough enough already."

He kissed her again, long and sweetly, and somehow, it tasted like tears this time. Like some kind of goodbye.

"I really do love you," he said, and smoothed away the damp streaks on her cheeks. "But I can't do this. Not now."

Before she could stop him, he slid out of bed, put on his shoes, and walked quickly to the door. She sat up, holding the covers close as if she were naked underneath, instead of fully clothed, and he hesitated there, one hand gripping the doorknob.

"Please stay," she said. "Shane--"

He shook his head. "If I stay, things are going to happen. You know it, and I know it, and we just can't do this. I know things are falling apart, but--" He hitched in a deep, painful breath. "No."

The sound of the door softly closing behind him went through her like a knife.

Claire rolled over, wretchedly hugging the pillow that smelled of his hair, sharing the warm place in the bed where his body had been, and thought about crying herself to sleep.

And then she thought of the dawning wonder in his eyes when he'd said, I love you.

No. It was no time to be crying.

When she did finally sleep, she felt safe.

Chapter Ten

The next day, there was no sign of the vampires, none at all. Claire checked the portal networks, but as far as