Lord of Chaos (The Dragon Demigods #7) - Charlene Hartnady Page 0,82
I should have had my menstruation by now.
I undo my jeans and pull them down, sitting on the toilet. My underwear is clean. No blood. I sigh.
It doesn’t mean anything, I tell myself. I get my menstruation every month. I get the signs, and then it comes. The Underworld was a different story. You don’t get your cycle down there. Before then…regular as clockwork. I never timed it, though. I think I might be late. I’m not sure. Or maybe it takes a while for a woman’s cycle to return to normal once she leaves the Underworld. There is that.
I yank up my pants and do up my jeans. I sigh as I walk out of the bathroom.
My mam is in her gown. “Morning, sunshine,” she says. “What’s got you looking so worried?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head.
“Doesn’t look like nothing to me.” She lifts her brows and folds her arms across her ample chest.
I told my mam everything that happened as soon as I got back. All about Gaire…all about how he lied. How manipulative he was. I told her about my time in the Underworld. I also told her about Rage. I left out certain details, but she knows the bigger picture. I’ve cried a lot since coming home. I stayed in my old room for days. She knows we didn’t use protection. She knows that I might be pregnant. She knows that Rage is in love with me and how afraid that made me. How suffocated I felt. My mam knows a lot of things.
She smiles, taking me out of my musings. “You’re from a fertile line,” she says.
“How did you know that it was playing on my mind?” I gush.
“A mam is supposed to know. Not just that; I’m a woman too, you know.” She winks.
“I know, Mam.”
“Let’s go have some tea, and you can tell me all about it.”
I nod. Within five minutes, I have a steaming mug in my hands, and we’re sitting in front of the crackling fire. I feel better already.
“You’re wondering for the hundredth time whether you’re with litter.” She lifts her brows.
I nod. It’s not the hundredth time. It’s more like the thousandth time, and it’s driving me crazy. “I’m being silly,” I say. “I know my cycle is messed up. I was still hoping I’d get my menstruation so that I can relax. The more time that goes by, the more worried I become.” I clutch my mug tighter.
“You’re not being silly. You’re perfectly normal,” she assures me. “Any woman would feel this way. I remember your Tad and I trying. It took about six or seven months. Every month was like what you’re feeling now. Waiting…wondering…hoping.”
I sip my tea.
“I guess it’s different for you since you’re not with Rage. Such a strange name.”
“Mam,” I raise my voice, “you were the one who taught me that things are not always as they seem. His name suits him, and yet…there’s a tenderness in him…a vulnerability, even. He is so much more than his name. Don’t judge him, please.”
She smiles, looking at me from over her mug. “I feel like I almost know him,” she says. “You’ve spoken about him so often.”
“That’s not true. I…” Then again, maybe I have spoken about him regularly. “I guess I can’t help it. He’s on my mind. We went through so much.” I sigh. “I’m driving myself nuts about possibly being pregnant even though I know I’m not.”
My mam gets up. She goes over to the vegetable drawer. It’s where she keeps the potatoes, the squash, and the onions. She rummages through the drawer and pulls out a rectangular box.
“That isn’t what I think it is, is it?” I ask her, frowning.
“I went and bought this at the pharmacy last week. Put it with the root vegetables because I knew your Tad and your brothers would never find it there. I figured you might have a morning such as this. It’s hard sometimes, not knowing.”
I nod. My heart is racing. “I’m being stupid. I know I’m not. I can’t be. It wouldn’t be that easy.” I keep saying the same things. All of these thoughts are turning around and around inside my head. I can’t seem to stop.
“It mostly isn’t, but sometimes, my child, sometimes it is that easy.” I’m not convinced she’s talking about a potential pregnancy anymore, but I don’t say anything.