Lord of Chaos (The Dragon Demigods #7) - Charlene Hartnady Page 0,64

a sigh. “I didn’t think so, but it’s good to hear it.”

“I think I might have feelings for Nia,” I say. I put up a hand. “I know. It’s too soon. I barely know her. I’m more than likely thinking with my little head rather than my big head. I’m being an idiot.” I swallow thickly. “I’ve been telling myself all of this on replay since I woke up this morning. I can’t shake the feeling.” I pause for a second, “It’s okay, you can tell me I’m crazy.”

“I think you’re crazy,” Death deadpans.

“I know…I know.” I’m nodding like a madman. I run a hand through my hair. “I need to stop my shit. I can stop panicking because I can’t possibly have feelings for her.”

“I think you’re crazy because I can’t imagine falling in love myself, but I’ve seen the way you look at her. I think you might be right.”

I frown, “I look at her in a certain way?” Fuck! This is bad. She might have noticed. Of course she fucking noticed. I almost kissed her earlier. I felt something when I looked into her eyes earlier. The sex was more than just fucking. It was so much more.

“Oh, yes.” Death nods. “I’ve seen Night look at his wife like that. Bolt…” he rolls his eyes, “he is like a lovesick puppy.”

“This is a problem. A big fucking problem.” I almost can’t believe what I’m hearing. I want to pace because pacing always calms me down, but I can’t. No space. “I’ve only known Nia for two days. What’s wrong with me? We’re good together. I think it might be the sex. It’s definitely the sex. It’s good…amazing…mind-blowing. Could it be the great sex?” I ask Death. I’m talking too much. I’m panicking a little.

Death chuckles. “It might be the sex, but I’m sure there’s a whole lot more there than just a good physical relationship. Also, you’ve known her for longer than just two days.”

“She was in her dog form before that,” I snort. “Hardly counts.”

“It does count. It doesn’t matter what form a person is in. It shouldn’t matter.” Death is so pragmatic.

“You’re right.” I nod. “Although I did take her to the pound.” I wince.

“Maybe you took her because you were feeling yourself becoming attached.”

There’s something there. Death might be right. “I’m not crazy, then? I’m not thinking with my dick?” I ask him. I don’t even want to think about the offer Gaire made. Even if I trusted him wholeheartedly, I could never trade the life of a living person for that of someone already passed. I could never live with myself. I could never forgive myself. I have to live with what I did. With what happened. I’ll be damned if I’m adding Nia to my list of casualties.

I might be falling for Nia, but I can’t keep her. As much as I want to, I can’t. I’ve done enough damage in my life. I’m too much of a loose cannon. I might end up hurting her. I can’t let that happen.

I wish with everything in me that it could be different, but it can’t. I wish I could trust myself, but I can’t. If I lose control, even for a second, people might die. She might die. No fucking way is that happening.

I have to find a way to help her, and then I must watch her walk away. I meant it when I said she could hurt me. Watching her leave will cut me deep. I will bleed. My advanced healing won’t be able to help me. Nothing will. But I can do it. It’s not too late because I’m not in too deep.

Death’s phone rings.

20

Nia

Death and Rage appear. I’ve never been happier to see a person in my whole life. I launch myself into Rage’s arms. “Oh, my goodness!” I push the words out. My face is buried in his chest. “I thought you were dead.” I hug him even harder for a few more seconds, relishing the closeness. His arms are tight around me. His face is buried in the crook of my neck. I want to stay right here. I want it so badly that I push Rage way, taking a step back. “Gaire took you?”

Rage nods.

“I need to go,” Death says. He has that pinched look. “I’ll stay close, as will Star. In case…in case you need us…” Star left a few minutes ago. She assured me of the same. Between her and Death, we should be