“You can live here and go to college,” he suggested.
She could, but living with her parents wouldn’t accomplish the growth she needed. She needed to learn how to dream dreams that didn’t include Ian. She couldn’t do that here, where all her dreams of him had begun.
“No.” She breathed in deeply. “I need to be on my own, I think. It’s time I grow up.”
How a woman who had indulged sexually as she had with Ian could utter those words, she wasn’t certain. She felt ages old. And yet, as uncertain now as she had felt during the time her parents had been apart.
He lowered his head, pushing his hands forcefully into the pockets of his slacks as he nodded slowly.
“It’s hard, letting you go.” He cleared his throat, staring around the room as he blinked several times. Hard. “Hard to let go of the years I lost and remember you’re not a baby anymore.”
Courtney bit her lip and found there were many more tears. Tears she would shed later rather than now.
“You taught me to follow my heart, Father,” she whispered huskily. “That’s what I must do.”
He nodded. Cleared his throat again.
“Ian called,” he announced as his head rose.
She flinched. She couldn’t help it. The pain built inside her until she was certain it would take her to her knees. He hadn’t called her. Not even once.
“Is he doing well?” Any news of him was better than nothing.
She worried about him, she admitted. Though she doubted he needed her concern. She was terrified she had added more pain, more guilt to his already haunted eyes. The thought of that was nearly as painful as losing him.
“Yeah.” He nodded firmly. “He sounded tired though.”
She stared back at him calmly, despite the agony resonating through her.
“You’re talking to him again then?”
“Yeah.” He nodded again. “I was…worried about him.” He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably.
She had worried as well. She talked to Khalid often, though he rarely had any real news of Ian.
“I’m glad he’s well.” She fought the trembling of her lips as she smiled back at him. “Now, I really need to get dressed…”
“He asked about you.” His eyes met hers, a question forming there.
Pain curled through her chest, making it difficult to breathe.
“I hope you told him I was well?” Her smile wobbled as she met his gaze.
“I told him he f**king broke my daughter’s heart,” he finally snapped. “What the hell was I supposed to tell him, Courtney?”
“That I am well,” she answered, her voice thickening with more tears. “He needs know nothing more, Father. I am alive. I am healthy. I am not suicidal. Nothing more should concern him.”
He grimaced in disgust.
“You haunt this house like a ghost,” he growled. “Even Sebastian is worried. The bastard wasn’t supposed to break your heart.”
“For pity’s sake, what do you think I’m going to do?” she yelled back at him. “Did you have Ian thinking I’m going to kill myself because I couldn’t gain his heart? What would make you believe I’m so weak?”
“I did no such thing,” he informed her fiercely. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t tell him what a sorry bastard he is.”
“Argh. You are as insane as any man I have ever met. It is no wonder you and Ian are so close.” She threw her hands up in surrender. “First, you do not want him to be with me, now you would chastise him for not being with me. Make up your mind, Father, before you make yourself crazy.”
He grunted at that. “He didn’t have to hurt you.”