She had been away at school when her mother had become ill, and she hadn’t been called home until the last moment. She had believed for so many years that it had been her father’s decision to keep her unaware of her mother’s health. But now she knew the truth. It had been her mother’s.
They had both deceived her, had used her as weapon, one against the other until nothing had been left of the child in their eyes. She had been a sword and she had been the one to suffer.
She wanted to scream, to rage, to destroy the house brick by brick until nothing remained of the agony that resonated through her body. She wanted nothing more than to wipe away the memories of a past that should have never been.
She was crying. She wiped at her cheeks as she closed the diary and laid it beside those she had glanced through before. She stared around the library. Centuries of books graced the shelves and Kimberly knew that many more were in storage. Books that museums would salivate over. In five years, they would have been hers. It would have all been hers.
She shook her head tiredly as she rose from the chair, staring around her as the tears continued to dampen her cheeks. She had been denied her mother as well as her father because of this place. The scars on her soul that her parents had placed there through her younger years would never completely fade. She would never forget that her father’s hatred of what her mother had done had extended to her. She would never forget that the mother she had loved, had trusted and believed in, had used her as well.
But was she any better?
She had sacrificed her life, six long years to the battle lines that had been drawn six generations before.
She had walked away from Jared.
A sob racked her body, shuddering through her as pain sliced through her chest. An agonizing burst of never-ending regret shook her, causing her breath to catch as a low, racking moan escaped her. She curled into herself, her arms wrapped around her stomach as she whispered his name.
God, it hurt. It tore through her, echoing through her soul and ripping wide the door she had closed on her heart so long ago. Even before she had learned the terms of the Trust. Before her father had demanded the exams. She had closed herself off from any chance of heartache or pain to ensure that what had happened to her mother could never happen to her.
She had been determined to never love. But Jared has sneaked into her heart with his crooked smile and his stormy eyes. His determination and sheer male presence had stolen past her safeguards and marked her forever.
There had been no jealousy when he had caught her at The Club. There had been only fiery heat and overwhelming hunger. He had catered to her every desire on the ranch, giving her the gift of his touch, his desire…his unspoken love. And he had never demanded more from her than she had thought she could give.
“Kimberly, you’re breaking my heart.” His voice washed over her senses, a figment of her imagination, a condemnation for walking away from him?
“Baby, you can’t cry like this, you’ll make yourself sick.”
She jerked in shock when she felt his hands grip her shoulders and draw her forward. Her eyes flew open and there he was. His gaze a million shades of gray, lines bracketing his mouth, sorrow in his expression as he drew her to his chest.
“Jared…” She cried out his name, her hands reaching for him, clutching at him as his arms tightened around her, pulling her into his arms as he rose so he could lift her before taking her place in the chair.
She was cradled on his lap, her head buried in his neck as he soothed her. Soft, broken words in a voice ragged with emotion.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he whispered at her ear before he placed gentle kisses along her brow. “It’s okay, Kimber. You’re not alone anymore.”
He had promised he would always be there, and now, when she needed him the most, he was there. He was holding her, his arms sheltering her, his kisses soothing the gaping wound that had grown in her soul.
“Why are you here?” She tried to stem the tears, but they refused to be held at bay.
Jared sighed roughly. “Mother called when you came for the key last night. She was worried about you.”
Kimberly nodded jerkily. Carolyn had watched her too closely and Kimberly had known there was no hiding the proof of the tear-filled nights she had spent since leaving the farm.
She was raw from the inside out. She couldn’t sleep for dreams of Jared, couldn’t get through the day without his name coming to her lips. Without crying for all she had walked away from.
“I don’t want it,” she finally whispered. “This place. This legacy, Jared. I can’t…I don’t want it.”
She felt him tense, felt his arms tighten around her.
“Five years isn’t so long…” She heard the pain in his voice, heard all the needs that she felt in his soul.
Raising her head, she lifted her hand and placed her fingers against his lips. He stared back at her silently, though his eyes raged with emotion.
“I won’t ask for promises,” she whispered. “I don’t want them. Yet. But I need this, I need you now. Just like this.”
His smile, God, she loved his smile, even covered by her fingers as it was.
“I told you,” he growled roughly. “I’ll be here Kimber, whenever, however you need me. That’s not a promise. It’s a fact.”