He shook his head. “If he’d forced himself on you any further, I would have ripped his head off. As it is, he took a simple f**k off as an answer. He’s very popular with women. Your rejection must have come as a shock considering his track record.”
“Do you think I was tempted?”
He blinked. “Were you?”
“No. Were you jealous?”
He gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles whitening. “I don’t know. With the serum, all—all I feel is this emptiness inside of me. Where there should be emotion, there’s . . . nothing, just an empty black hole. I know that’s where all the shit I should be feeling belongs. I never felt it before—never noticed it, anyway—but I do now.”
“Emptiness.”
“Yeah.”
I bit my bottom lip as my throat began to tighten. “I know how you feel. I have that, too.”
“You do?”
I nodded. “It’s hard to deal with that empty feeling, but sometimes we don’t have any choice.”
His expression darkened. “Jackson gave you a choice.”
I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes at that. “Yeah, he did. Since I can’t be with you, he was more than willing to serve as a replacement. Really big of him.”
His brows drew together. “Is that why you feel empty? Because we can’t be together?”
We were treading on dangerous territory. I wasn’t really prepared for this conversation about emotions and empty black holes with a man I couldn’t really have. It felt like trouble, and I already had enough of that to begin with. “Look, Declan, let’s just eat. It’s been a long day. Maybe tomorrow Dr. Reynolds will get back to us.”
“He will. I don’t doubt it. He’s a serious dick, but I really think he can help you. Then you won’t have to deal with all of this, deal with me, with horny ass**les like Jackson sniffing around you. You can go back to your regular life and normal men who can be with you when they want to be.”
I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. It was currently clenched into a fist. “Normal guys are completely overrated, just so you know.”
His hand relaxed in my grip. “I’m about as abnormal as they get.”
“Feeling sorry for yourself tonight?”
He gave me a humorless smile. “That’s just the problem. I’m not feeling anything. And yet . . .”
“What?”
“The thought of you with Jackson . . . I wouldn’t call it jealousy, exactly. But it bothered me. I didn’t like it.”
That was interesting. Not jealousy, but something that triggered some sort of reaction in the emotion-free dhampyr.
I intertwined my fingers with his. “I’m not having a luxurious fast-food dinner like this with him, am I?”
“No.” He leaned back in his chair, pulling his hand away from mine. I tried not to take it personally. “He was right about one thing.”
“Which is?”
“That you’re a woman of passion. You deserve more than this.”
I glanced around the small room. “More than . . . burgers and fries at a seedy motel?”
“For starters.” He wasn’t smiling anymore. His jaw tightened. “You said something earlier. I think I want to take you up on it.”
“What’s that?”
“What you said about experimenting.”