“Even if I’ll die confined, Rachel?” she asked painfully. “You always dreamed of a family, of a place to settle down and have babies. Jonas and Amber, they are your dream. This was what you always wanted.” Moving to her sister she caught Rachel’s hands and held them firmly, staring into her eyes, desperate to make her understand. “What about my dream? Did you ever ask yourself what my dream was or if I had the right to it?”
“You do it because of Mom and Dad and how they were killed. Uncle Colt convinced you—” Rachel cried. “That is why you fight.”
Diane shook her head again. “No. I fight because that’s my dream, Rachel. I don’t want a jailer or a protector. I want a partner. I want someone who will let me fight when I need to fight and let me rest when I need to rest. I don’t want to be told when I need to do either one because, trust me, I know what I need and I know when I need it. And what I don’t need is to be handcuffed or locked away in Sanctuary where everyone is happy and satisfied because I’m safe.” She wanted to cry with her sister. She wanted to howl at the pain for never being accepted for what she needed, yet always giving as much of herself as possible. “Rachel, let me be me,” she whispered with a desperation she hadn’t realized was trapped inside her. “If I can’t be me, then there’s no reason to even exist or to fight to live. Don’t you understand that?”
Rachel’s arms were suddenly around her, holding her tight as Diane wrapped her own arms around her sister comfortingly.
“I’m so sorry, Diane.” Leaning back she stared up, allowing Diane to see the true regret in her eyes.
Diane swiped at her own tears. “I wish we could be kids again. That the innocence we once knew was still a part of us.”
“But it is.” Rachel’s lips trembled as she tried to smile. “I see it in Amber. I see your eyes, Dad’s grin, Mom’s brows. I see the children we once were and I know the happiness I want for her. And I see everything Brandenmore could be stealing if his evil manages to take her away from us.”
“I won’t let that happen,” Diane swore. “I’ll find them, Rachel. I swear I will.”
“Help me,” Rachel whispered then, her lips trembling now. “Help save my baby, Diane.” A silent sob shook her sister’s fragile body. “I don’t know if I could survive losing her.”
Diane had to fight her own tears as they held on to each other; fear was eating at them while hope continued to burn inside them.
“I’ll find Honor Roberts,” Diane swore. “Whatever kept them alive, I’ll do everything in my power to make certain Amber has it.”
Rachel swiped at the tears on her face. “I know you will.” She sniffed. “And I’ll help you however I can.”
“Just believe in me, Rachel,” Diane requested painfully. “Don’t help them tie me down. If we’re truly sisters, believe in me as you did when we were children.”
In her sister’s eyes she saw the regret, the love, and the fear. The fear that had been there ever since Rachel first learned Diane was joining their uncle’s team. That her sister would be risking her life in the line of fire.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel whispered. “I stood with Jonas because I’m terrified of losing you. Of losing the only person I know besides Jonas who would face hell for me. But I’d face it for you too. I’d face anything to see you safe and knowing that safety isn’t what you want terrifies me.”
“I know.” And she did.
“But safety would kill you faster than a bullet would,” Rachel guessed.
It was the truth. It was the truest thing in Diane’s life. She met her sister’s gaze as they both blinked back tears.
“Then do what you have to do.” Rachel released her then and stepped back with a tearful smile. “Do what you have to do, Diane. I’ll never stand against you again.”
That was an admission Diane knew wasn’t easy for her sister.
“Thanks, Rachel,” she whispered. “For being my sister. If you need me, if anything happens, I’ll tell you where I’m going, if you swear to keep that secret to yourself.”
She knew her sister. Rachel would make herself insane if she didn’t know where Diane would be. And she knew Lawe would find her eventually, either way.
Leaning close, she whispered the information in her sister’s ear, just in case Jonas had left an electronic listening device on the chance Diane slipped into the room.
Rachel nodded as Diane gave her one last hug before pulling away and forcing herself to leave.
Moving to the window Diane managed to shimmy through the narrow opening onto the ledge beyond before making her way across several window ledges to the corner and the drain pipe that followed the line of the building down more than twenty stories.
She knew Rachel was watching as she slid the gloves from her pockets and then clipped a metal latch hook to her belt and to the rope she had already prepared. Looping it around the metal pipe, Diane made her way to the ground below. Crouching, she moved quickly to the heavy shrubbery that decorated the lawn and led to the parking lot beyond.
It took only minutes to make her way to the Land Rover she’d had delivered for her journey. Slipping inside she breathed out roughly, started the vehicle and pulled out of the parking slot.
Leaving like this, without her men, without backup, was unfamiliar but strangely satisfying. She’d always fought with a safety net. There was no net now. Just her, her training and her instincts.
And her goal.
Saving her niece. And maybe she would prove to Lawe that she was strong enough to not just walk beside him, but to fight beside him. Without that acceptance, without her ability to do what she had to do, Diane knew, a part of her soul would die.