A man couldn’t ask more of himself than his own honesty, honor and pride. Seth stood on the upper balcony of the two-story, sprawling mansion situated in the middle of Lawrence Island, just off the California coast, and stared into the ocean of blue that surrounded them. He was a man who had everything other men wanted, but the core of sadness that had cemented inside his soul never abated. The mating heat had gone away; the torturous arousal for a woman he couldn’t have was no longer like a cancer growing inside him. But a man didn’t stop loving with the same ease.
And Seth had never stopped.
Ten years was a long time to grieve over the loss of one woman. A long time to obsess over the things he couldn’t have. Though, he admitted, she had grown in those ten years. She hadn’t been timid during that meeting at Sanctuary. She had been strong—a smart-ass, but strong. And it had turned him on. Even without the mating heat, with nothing abnormal or preternatural, he had been so f**king hot for her he’d nearly melted his chair.
But those shadows were still in her eyes, and there was still a hint of fear there. And she was still the one woman he couldn’t have. All he had now was this and, maybe, the hope of someone to leave it to later. A child perhaps rather than a f**king board of directors.
The island was lushly vegetated, private and fairly large. Cliffs fell into the ocean from the north, while the southern edge was a tropical paradise ringed by white sand beaches. Helicopters were landing on the eastern edge, along the helipads, and the additional house servants were collecting the guests in four-wheel-drive all-terrains, which would negotiate the rough roads to the house. Except for once every two years, Lawrence Island was a retreat rather than an entertainment center. Then, every two years, each room in the mansion and outer guest buildings was filled. They were filling up now, even as he watched. The pool behind the house was already in use, the billiards and cinema center being prepared for the arrival of the families of the board members, as well as the guests invited to enjoy the island.
His father had begun the tradition of inviting more than just board members to the island during the meetings, and it was one Seth knew he wouldn’t keep up long. He was already looking at scheduling the next meeting at the home offices of Lawrence Industries in New York City rather than using the island any longer.
He leaned his arms against the smooth railing that ran the length of the upper story, clasped his hands and watched as the Breed heli-jet settled on the private helipad closer to the house. Dash Sinclair and his family were arriving. He watched as Cassie climbed out behind her father, the waist-length trails of thick curls whipping in the wind as she stared up at the house. He couldn’t see her expression, but he knew she was staring directly back at him. Next came Elizabeth. Seth knew the Breed had left his young son at Sanctuary, his preferred location for the protection of his children when needed. He couldn’t understand why he had brought his daughter. He wiped a hand over his face and fought back the regret that burned through his mind like wildfire. Dawn could have been here, where he had dreamed of seeing her over the years. She could have filled his mansion with her spirit, and her haunted sadness.
Fuck. Ten years.
He stared out at the ocean again, the blue so intense it almost hurt the eyes, and imagined her there with him as he had a thousand times over. By his side. In his bed. Sharing his life and his passion. That had been his dream, his hope, and it had followed him even after those horrifying minutes that he had stood and watched the graphic, nightmarish proof of the life she had led in those labs.
Which was one of the reasons the board members were now bucking the amount of time and money Seth was putting into Sanctuary and the fight against the supremacist groups rising against them. Because of what he had seen. Because of what he had lost.
He moved a hand to his chest and rubbed at it absently. Right there over his heart, where the ache centered. Where he couldn’t forget the years he had spent so tied to her that his flesh had crawled with the need for her touch.
“Darling, your guests are arriving. We should greet them.”
He didn’t tense when Caroline moved to him and pressed her barely covered br**sts against his back, her arms snaking around his waist and burrowing beneath the loose white cotton shirt he wore. His flesh no longer crawled at another woman’s touch, and he no longer stalked away, unable to draw so much as an ounce of interest in a sexual relationship with another woman. In ten years he hadn’t aged, but the other effects of the mysterious mating heat had slowly worn away with the absence of the woman who had initiated it.
Caroline was but one woman among many that he had taken to his bed in the past years. Someone to warm the nights, to spend the excessive sexual release he needed more often than he had before meeting Dawn.
He was considering a more permanent relationship with her. He had given himself these two weeks as his deadline to make that decision.
She was young enough to have children, was socially adept, and would be an asset among his business contacts. If he could only force himself to actually spend a full night in her bed rather than just a few hours.
He moved from her touch, placing several inches between them, unconsciously drawing away from her even as he caught himself.
And she noticed it as well. She always noticed it. Her lips tightened in anger, and rather than deal with the tantrum he could feel brewing, he placed his hand at the small of her back and led her toward the outside staircase to the first floor.
“Why are all these Breeds arriving, Seth?” There was a snap to her voice as Lawe and Rule discreetly moved in protectively.
“The Breeds provide security for all my functions; you know this, Caroline.” He restrained his impatience.
He reminded himself that Caroline was no different than millions of other people who were uncomfortable with the Breeds’ presence, especially those who had foolishly or unknowingly supported the Genetics Council that created them.
It was one of the reasons he was having so much trouble with the board of directors now. They wanted the funding toward the Breeds halted and for Lawrence Industries, and Seth in particular, to break ties with them. Only a few of those members backed Seth at the moment. He was hoping to draw more to his side before the two weeks were out.
“Mr. Lawrence, Mr. Vanderale and Mr. Desalvo have arrived. You asked me to notify you when they reached the house.” The house steward stepped from the path leading to the front of the house, his bland expression belying the excitement in his hazel eyes.
Richard loved the house parties.
“Thank you, Richard.” He nodded as he turned Caroline toward the path leading around the house.
“We’ll be right in.”
Richard hurried ahead of them as Lawe and Rule came in behind them. Caroline’s body was tense now, offended sensibilities clearly demonstrated in the tap of her heels against the stone walk.
“We should have been awaiting them in the foyer,” she snapped. “This does not make a good impression, Seth. And you haven’t even changed clothes yet.”
He restrained his sigh. Women always bitched about changing clothes and the right impression, didn’t they? He seemed to remember that.
“I’m sure Dane won’t mind the casual attitude,” he assured her.